A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Just curious to get some answers from men. If sex is good...I mean REALLY good with a woman,how can us women know it was good without the guy directly telling us? What are the signs? I've learned a lot of the time guys don't directly tell you....although some do,or they do once you're farther along in a relationship. And what are the signs you didn't enjoy it? I think as women we kind of assume that if it was awesome sex for us,then it was awesome for the man too,but I'm wondering if such is always the case. Thank you! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (3 November 2011):
If you're looking for ways to improve, judging how much a man enjoyed sex isn't necessarily going to help you. The reason is because every guy is different. We enjoy different positions more or less than others, have different fetishes, etc. So if you want to make the sex better for a particular guy you need to find out what specific things will do that for him. To accomplish this I suggest talking about it... a good way is to get playful and do some "dirty talk" texting for example. Trying to judge what works based on a guy's reaction is much less definitive.That said, I agree with the initial anonymous poster. How stiff a man's erection is says a lot about how turned on he is and how much he's enjoy it. However, be mindful that ED makes this an unreliable indicator for some men. Also, when I have a particularly powerful orgasm I will ejaculate more and I feel physically weak and "drained" afterwards. If I ask to cuddle instead of jumping out of bed, that's a very good sign. Finally, the biggest indication of all that the sex is good is I'll keep coming back for more. I'll also take measures to keep the relationship going... I'll make an effort to make sure my partner is enjoying herself, I show her the relationship matters to me by doing little, thoughtful things, etc. If I like a woman's personality and we have very good sex together, that's not someone I want to let get away!Best of luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2011): Not insecure at all,I've never had any complaints or issues, and I'm confident in my abilities. But I'm always open to ways to improve....and it's a question I was curious about. I don't agree that it's harder to tell with a woman than a man,as long as the woman is honest about whether or not she finished...I guess some are good fakers.I feel like just because a man gets off doesn't necessarily mean it was that good. It just means it was obviously good enough to get off,which I don't think takes as much for a man at all.
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A
male
reader, unknown2u +, writes (3 November 2011):
If he's wiped out to the verge of catatonic, that's a pretty good sign that it was very good.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2011): The better the sex, the more relaxed I am afterward.
The more relaxed I am afterward, the more I am going to want to do it again.
Just one person's experience.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2011):
Okay, I am a guy and I am going to get a little graphic here, but often when I am very satisfied I ejaculate more semen and more forcefully than I might otherwise. Note that it may not have been anything the woman did or did not do in terms of making my orgasm stronger and a better orgasm (or a worse one) doesn't equate to how much I enjoyed being with my partner. Other factors come into play like my mood, how horny I was, how long it was since I last ejaculated, how much I was teased beforehand, and so on.
However, if you really want a quantifiable way of knowing how good my orgasm was then that is it. I am only one guy so I cannot speak for all men, but that's how it works for me. If I didn't enjoy it then my erection will be less stiff, I will ejaculate less, and I probably won't be back for more.
I wonder why you are asking this question, though? For us men it is far more difficult to tell if the woman enjoyed it because there is no obvious physical sign like there is for men. I have been with my partner for years and sometimes I am still not sure she came (and sometimes pleasantly surprised when she volunteers that she did and I thought she did not.) You sound insecure for some reason. I would focus on what's going on there.
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