A
female
age
36-40,
*adycorsair84
writes:So I've been in a relationship with this guy for about 6 months now, and everything's going great. I'm 27, he's 39.Here's my problem- I can't stop wanting reassurance from him... My last boyfriend- who I was absolutely, 100% crazy in love with hurt me REALLY badly, by cheating on me and manipulating me. I know this guy won't do that to me, and I can look at the situation logically, but how do I stop feeling like this? The last thing I want to be is needy and moany! Thanks guys Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chocoholicforever  +, writes (3 November 2011):
I think you should learn to stop anxious thoughts when they first occur, so they don't fester and spiral out of control. This takes a lot of practice because you're basically re-training yourself to think new thought patterns and break old ones. Some times once you start feeling anxious, if it spirals out of control it doesn't just stop with your thoughts it can then trigger your physiological reactions as well (like racing heart, sweaty palms) and those can in turn feed into your anxious thoughts and escalate your anxiety. So the best is to learn to stop the first sign of anxious thought and not let it go further. if you're having a lot of difficulty with this it could help to talk to a counselor or therapist, they could help you do some mental exercises to help you stop these thoughts in their tracks.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (2 November 2011):
 Your last relationship has left you damaged and broken now. It is something that you need to sort out before you ruin this new relationship. While am sure the last 6 months have been good it is still early days and if you are insecure well then you will push him away. You no deep down he is not the same as your ex and you know he doesn't treat you the same way as your ex. So now you just need to open yourself up again and have faith in him. I know it can be scary trusting someone again after being hurt and deceived but if you don't do it now you will never be able to hold down a relationship. You just need to work hard on building yourself up again and letting your new boyfriend in to your heart. I know it can be hard but just take it slow and learn to trust again.
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