A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I have been dating for 11 months and has invited me to move in with her. I am thinking of it. We are both 26. Perhaps those who have moved in together can give some advice. What are the Perks of Moving in Together? Do most of you who have moved in together share the same bed or have separate bedrooms? how does that work?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2022): Why are you asking an online forum whether or not you and your girlfriend will share a bed/bedroom if you move in? Why are you not asking her?
If you can't broach simple subjects like who sleeps where with her, then I would suggest that you are nowhere near mature enough, or close enough to your partner, to move in with her.
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (1 February 2022):
Moving in with someone can be great or a nightmare. You really should make sure you're compatible first or it will be the beginning of the end of your relationship
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 February 2022):
 Absolutely listen to Kenny and FA!
It would be a VERY good idea to sit down and talk about expectations.
Such as,
Who pays what?
Rent, food, utilities, extras, etc.
What chores need to be done, and who will do them?
Who cooks?
What happens if you break up? (yeah, you really should discuss that too)
Will you be on the lease?
What happens if one of you loses your job?
Pet?
Pet peeves!
General considerations (such as you don't invite people over - that is BOTH of you - without planning with the partner) You let your partner know (again both of you) if you have made plans so you aren't home for dinner or overnight - maybe you went to mom's for a birthday or at a friends.
As for what are the perks,
Well, for one, you get to see your partner more. Spend more time together doing things you might not have done so much in the past. Sometimes it's also cheaper to share a place, instead of each having a place. You get a taste of "adulting" as in, you have to learn to compromise, work together, be more considerate, share a space. You get a better knowledge of your partner's habits and personal life.
And yes MOST couples share a bed :) If you aren't ready for all this responsibility, then wait a little longer.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (31 January 2022):
 One of the greatest "perks" of moving in is that you get to increase the intimacy of your relationship. For example you will never again wonder what her socks or her farts smell like. The second this is you get to have in depth conversations that you can't escape, About exciting topics, like who sleeps where? How do these bills get paid? What's for dinner? No more putting that off to another day if you don't decide, you don't eat.
Essentially living together is the last step in getting to know each other well enough to marry. It's a bit more intense than engagement. It's a lot more than a convenient financial arrangement. When your girlfriend invited you to move in with her she expected this kind of relationship growth.
Do you think some of those conversations^^ should start before you mover in? I do.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2022): In a way this is a good question, you ought to weigh up the advantages first. But asking us makes no sense as every relationship is different. The perks I get by being with my guy will be totally different to the couple next door, round the corner or twenty miles away. Some couples sleep in the same bed, others do not and so on. Look at how it would be for you, that is all that matters, not how it is for others. Just out of interest my guy and me sleep in different beds. But we both have a very expensive hand made soft king size bed with all the trimmings. We sleep separately because of my health problems where his snoring and moving about would prevent me from sleeping if we were in the same bed all night, I have a lot of trouble sleeping. We also have separate rooms! So what. It is an enormous house and we both like to have our room decorated and furnished and carpeted etc our way. We both also have a lot of clothes and would not have enough cupboard and wardrobe space if we used the same room all of the time. But we only use our rooms for SLEEP. Only sleep. Get it. But that does not mean that we do not go to bed together and have a great time, just that we do not stay in bed together all night. Some couples sleep in the same room and same bed all night, yet never have sex and never cuddle. One does not guarantee the other, it might be that they only have one bedroom. Remember that - just because people have separate bedrooms or whatever does not mean they don't get on well and have a good life together. Remember this too - it is up to both of you how your life is together, both of you, not just her. She does not dictate all of the terms on a take it or leave it basis. Some things should be your idea, some hers and some negotiable.
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (31 January 2022):
 I guess there are many perks, i suppose if your still at your parents this is flying the nest and gaining some independence.
I guess you will he contributing to the household bills, and helping pay the rent/mortgage/.
If there are two of you, and by splitting the bills, it will be easier than if you just got a place your own.
If you are a couple, then of course you will be sharing one room won't you. Would be odd if you went in the other room, would be like a flat/house share if you did that. But i assume you are moving in together because you have been dating 11 months now, and you both think its the right time.
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