A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I was engaged, we were together until maybe 3 weeks ago. We were together about 5 years in total. It started out beautifully. He was charismatic, very sweet and loving. The last two years were terrible. Alot of emotional abuse. I was called most names imaginable. If I didn't comply with what he wanted. He would argue until I was completely emotionally drained to get his way. I finally left the situation. He threatened to smack my face and those words made me realize, what am I doing here? I wasn't put on the earth to be treated so badly. I got stronger and no contact for about 3 weeks. I'm feeling like there is a rainbow at the end of this journey. To the ladies out there, or the men. Get out while you can. Someone will appreciate everything about you, that someone else took for granted.
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emotionally abusive, engaged Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2022): P.S.
Even if you don't become an aunt on Dear Cupid, you should give us some updates on your progress; or even write articles about your journey. You will find it quite therapeutic, and a good way to vent. That's how I started as an uncle with DC.
May God bless you, protect you, and guide you. You will go through many phases as you detach from your abusive relationship, and you'll even reach a point you may miss him.
Surely you've had some past experience with undergoing a breakup; but there are many phases we undergo post-breakup. They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance; this is according to mental-health experts. These are the natural ways for your heart to heal.
Your achy-breaky heart will try to deceive you, loneliness will try to lower your defenses, or corrode your better judgement; hence, you will have moments of weakness. We will be here for you. He will undergo his own detachment process; and may attempt to break the silence. Hold steady. No contact!!!
God bless you, sweetheart!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2022): I commend you and adamantly support you! You've exhibited great strength and wisdom. You didn't allow your emotions to suppress your common sense. You put your safety and wellbeing ahead of your dependency on a relationship. Then you came to a platform to present it to others to help them. You should consider becoming a aunt here to advise other women and men based on your experience. We would welcome you here.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (1 February 2022):
 Its good that you stepped up and got out of this relationship when you did, i know this can't have been easy, so well done. So many people stay in these relationships in the hope they will change, the situation will change, but things never do.
I hope that people in the situation that you were in reads your post and gets the courage to leave like you did.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (1 February 2022):
 I'm glad you realized YOUR worth before you got seriously hurt.
Remember THIS is NOT your fault that he did this. OK?
His behavior was/is never OK.
Take this as a lesson. A costly lesson.
Keep the No Contact - make sure all your socials are private and that he is blocked and let family and friends KNOW why it ended so he can't go through them to get to you.
Stay safe, OP
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (31 January 2022):
 Good job creating and enforcing reasonable boundaries. It will be easier next time. The good news is that next time you need a boundary, you won't wait. And That is the key to happy relationships.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2022): What a great - and sensible post. Thank you. So often people write to agony aunts moaning and groaning about their nasty or abusive partner. In many ways it is totally pointless. We cannot change their partner and turn a turd into a diamond. The only way things can get better is if they do what you did and end the rubbish relationship. Telling us about the abuse gets it off their chest but is nowhere near enough, that should just be the start with ending the relationship being the main bit. So many of them are still there a year or more later, still moaning, still miserable, with only themselves to blame. Am really pleased you realised that you need to be strong and make a change that improves your life, and that being single - for now - is better than being with someone abusive. Many kid themselves their abusive person will change or is not that bad, very silly. The fact you are so strong and sensible also tells me you will make a wonderful catch for the next person you meet and want to get to know.
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