A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I'm still in love with my exboyfriend. He sayes he loves me and cares for me, but not in love with me any more. We still talk from time to time and have an occasional drink every now and then. What are the chances of him falling in love with me again or getting back together? I tell him there is no diffrence of loving some one and being in love, but he sayes there is!
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female
reader, katiekate +, writes (31 March 2012):
 I think chances are very slim. Men are pretty simple (I think) when it comes to dating and relationships. If he wanted to be with you, he would make it known. And the fact that he flat out says that he's not in love with you says it all. He's not in love with you. Move on and find someone who will be.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2012): "I tell him there is no diffrence of loving some one and being in love, but he sayes there is!"
He is right - there IS a difference.
He now sees you as an old family member-type friend. But he has no desire to let you get that "close" to him in the way of an intimate partner, and/or he feels no attraction to you romantically or sexually. Surely you can see the difference? He sees you like maybe a sister - someone who knows him well,whom he knows well, he does not hate you, he cares about you in the sense that he doesn't want bad things to happen to you, and you two have some shared history but his feelings for you are not as one would have for an intimate partner.
I'm sorry but it's best for you to move on, because he already has. If your feelings had also died down like his then there's no harm in continuing to hang out as friends. But since you do still have feelings for him but he doesn't for you, it's just going to prolong your pain to continue hanging out with him and hoping. Maybe some day when you've moved on and no longer desire him, you can come back to be friends again.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2012): the diffrence between love and being inlove is when your inlove everything about that person excites you and the sex is fantastic when you love that person everything is exactly the same with less excitment
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A
female
reader, Lucky786  +, writes (30 March 2012):
 Why did you two break up? Think about it. Unless that has changed, you won't get back together.
It seems he cares about you and obviously wants to be friends but I'm afraid you might not even have that if you keep thinking like this. If you can't be his friend and just his friend then I think you should stop all contact and save yourself a lot of pain in the future.
Remember, it takes two to make a relationship but it only takes one to end it.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 March 2012):
 There is a difference in loving and being in love... if that's how you phrase it... I understand what you are saying that there is no difference but I also understand what he's saying...
I can tell you that CaringGuy is right you are wasting your time... the chance of him falling in love with you again is close to nil... because if he was in love with you he would be there already... he's an EX boyfriend for a reason... you can't make him love you...
Sometimes it just takes folks a while to extract themselves fully from a relationship that has run it's course.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (30 March 2012):
If he said this, then walked away himself and still hasn't come back after meeting with you now and again, then the chances are he will never fall in love with you once more.
Sorry to say that, but you're ultimately wasting your time on this man. He thinks there is a big difference, and he has moved on. I suggest that you do the same, and maybe even cut contact otherwise you'll spend many years watching this man move away and most likely find another woman whilst you just hurt.
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