A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Ok so I feel like I should know this already but I don't. What are the true boundaries of cheating on ur bf/gf ??? Cause one of my friends thinks it's when u have sex with someone else, another thinks it's when u make out with someone else, so idk.... Any answer will help, thanks :) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, iloveblue  +, writes (30 March 2012):
 I think it depends on what couples agree on. Remember, there are couples who allow each other to see other people, some even have extreme activities like orgies. An act is called cheating when you betray your partner's trust with regards to dealing with the opposite sex. It is something that you still choose to do despite knowing that this will hurt your partner.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (30 March 2012):
 I agree with Auntie So_Very_Confused's answer:
Anything you CAN'T WON'T or DON'T tell your partner is cheating.
I would also add that if you can't do it in front of them, maybe it is cheating. Also, if your BF/GF did any of "these" things would it be OK with you?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 March 2012):
 Anything you CAN'T WON'T or DON'T tell your partner is cheating.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (30 March 2012):
 The boundaries of cheating are different for everyone. Some people consider porn watching by their partners cheating, while other people live in open relationships.
The real test is - what would you have a problem with your boyfriend doing?
Would it bother you if:
1. He was sexting another girl
2. He spent long hours alone with another girl, claiming she was just a friend
3. Staying in contact with an ex
4. Getting drunk and kissing someone else
5. Sending flowers to someone else for anything other than a death in the family
6. Lying to women in clubs about being single, regardless of whether or not anything happens
7. Keeping past letters, messages, or gifts from exes.
8. Not telling you whether or not a co-worker is an ex.
9. Getting a massage with a "happy ending"
10. Hiring a prostitute
11. Having intimate conversations with another girl, including venting about all of his relationship issues with you.
Bottom line -- disloyalty is disloyalty. Sex isn't the barrier to cheating, and neither is making out. The big thing is whether or not you'd be okay with your guy knowing what you're up to. That's always been my test -- would any conversation or action I have ever had with another man be okay to have in front of my husband. I expect no less from myself than complete loyalty.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2012): People will have their own boundaries and thoughts to determine what is considered as cheating. Some will be with sex or kissing. It can also becoming emotionally attached to another person.
You just have to decide on what you are comfortable with. For me personally, all of the above to me would be cheating. You are going behind my back to be with someone else.
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A
male
reader, Hugh.J  +, writes (30 March 2012):
 Cheating is definitely not limited to things sexual. Emotional involvement is equally disloyal and it all depends on the intention; I like "Eyespy17"'s definition - "if you have to hide it, you shouldn't be doing it".
If you are in a committed relationship your thoughts should be exclusively with your partner and your actions limited to the platonic.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2012): acting on feelings in any way.... eg persuing somebody else, having physical contact eg hugging and kissing as well as having sex, is all cheating as far as I am concerned
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A
female
reader, Eyespy17 +, writes (30 March 2012):
Cheating is when you do something behind someone's back that you wouldn't do in front of their face.
Could be sexting, texting, Facebooking etc. if you have to hide it from your BF/GF then you shouldn't be doing it.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (30 March 2012):
 It differs from couple to couple, it's whatever the couple agrees on. If you're concerned, just discuss the boundaries with your partner. It's always safe to assume that ANYTHING sexual with another person is off limits. Making out definitely counts as cheating in my book.
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A
female
reader, jhamilton +, writes (30 March 2012):
I personally think that cheating is when you have feelings for someone else, and you act upon them.
Just think about this, would you want your boyfriend hanging out with another girl that he likes? Or kissing her? Having sex with her? Would you not be pissed? Would you accuse him of cheating?
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (30 March 2012):
 Each person has their own personal boundaries. For me, I don't want my man texting other women (unless it's strictly business related) I don't want him chatting on line or sending flirty emails to other women, no kissing on the lips (friendly cheek kisses are fine from women who are friends with both of us) hugs are find unless it's from a woman I don't know, don't like, or don't trust and then she better not let her boobs linger against my man too long or my hackles will be up! Absolutely no lunches with other women (unless it's a co-worker and all the employees go too) no out of town business trips with female co-workers (unless I'm invited to come as well) no after work drinks (unless the whole office goes, or unless I'm invited). I don't think I have to spell it out for you,but making out, groping, fondling and sex would be a deal breaker for me. It all depends on what you're comfortable with. Good luck.
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