A
male
age
41-50,
*chabod2
writes:The saying is, it's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean. Well my penis is averaged size, but I've come to the conclusion that I don't know how to use it very well. Does anyone have any advice on how to "use" my penis to make her feel good in PIV sex? I realize every woman is different, but surely there must be some general ideas? I have tried teasing with shallow thrusts, grinding against her clit, and going long and hard. But I feel there is more to it, as I've gotten some sort of unpleasant feedback at times that I just don't use my penis very well. Thanks.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2018): Are we talking about just the one woman you are with or feedback from different women and the question is generalizing? I think that good sex comes from getting to know one person and in most women's cases they get more comfortable with a man when they have known them longer. Orgasms with my partner didn't come (pardon the pun) until we had been together at least a couple of months because I had to relax and get to know him. I used to have sex with different men when I was younger and never had an orgasm nor recall having sex in great detail, it was what it was, not memorable.If you are just having sex with different women then I think you are more likely to be criticized because as you say every woman is different and it takes time to get to know what a woman likes and dislikes and of course that is vice versa. So if you are dating a specific woman, talk and communicate with each other what you like, what turns you on, how does she like sex, what seems to turn her on, you have to also observe how she reacts. And be yourself, don't try and be something you are not, the point is to meet someone you are compatible with you have to be who you are, not trying to be some stud from a porn film. Good luck
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (24 September 2018):
 Every woman is different. What one woman may find a fabulous turn-on and sexy, another may dislike completely.
You need to COMMUNICATE. One size does not fit all (no pun intended!).
Also remember it is not only your penis which you can use but your hands and your tongue as well. The majority of women find it difficult (if not impossible) to climax from penetrative sex alone. They need added stimulation.
Foreplay is very important to most women so spend lots of time on that. Giving sensual massages is also a turn on for many couples.
I would suggest a good sex manual for ideas if you do not have any from experience.
Lastly, do not make the mistake of thinking women like "porn sex" or "jack rabbit sex". Most find it a complete turn-off. They are more about sensuality than "grinding away" or "going long and hard". Just the thought of either of those techniques makes me shudder.
I am sure you will figure it out if you take it slowly and TALK to your partner.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (23 September 2018):
 1) penises are NOT needed for great sex - fingers and mouths do much better for most women
2) try things and ASK what feels good
3) what works for one may not work for others
4) open and honest communication is important for good sex, which is why the best sex is often when in a relationship
5) use a vibrator on her clitoris at the same time, if she wants to try it
6) make sure you do lots of foreplay
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