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female
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anonymous
writes: What are signs of cheating or signs my b/f may not be physically cheating but talking to other girls?He doesn't hide his cell phone when i am around. He leaves it around his place where if i really wanted to i could just see if he was getting calls or see if it was on silent at least. (He can't block certain calls can he?--because his phone still rings sometimes but i know who it is when it does)He does have numbers dialed received, missed when i have checked(without a name) which i thought was weird but i thought maybe its for work(b/c he doesnt work in an office). I have even called some of these numbers and its mostly just men. I think one missed was a girl but it could have been a mistake and one he has stored in his phone--when i called--she sounded older(almost manly lol). The thing is--there are ALOT of these numbers without names and i get so tempted to copy down as many as i can to see if he does talk to another girl or something. We see each other about 3 nights a week due to distance. Sometimes i get suspicious like if i call and know he is on the phone because of the beep--i wonder who he is talking to(b/c sometimes he is on the phone when he is coming to pick me up)His inbox of text messages are usually empty(we send a lot but it makes me think is he deleteing just in case there is one from someone else)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2006): Had the same problem with my husband, is he on contract or pays as you go? if contract look thought the numbers and see if thier alot of number to the same mobile if so go through is phone and wright down everyones name and number then you can match the numbers up if not buy yourself a cheap phone and sim card then send the girl a text from your new phone eg hi mate is fred got your number off steve do you fancy having a lads night out then hopfully she will text you back saying you have got the wrong number then you text back but remeber you are male you have to think like they do and hopefully you can find out who she is I just wished I had thought off this good luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2006): For heaven's sake, woman, LEAVE IT ALONE!!
NOTHING you have written gives me any indication that he might be talking to other girls.
In any case, even if he was - SO WHAT? UNLESS and UNTIL you two have an agreement to be exclusive - DO you? - he can talk to and date as many others as he wants. SO CAN YOU. UNLESS he is also having sex with them. Or unless you are.
The fact that he doesn't try to hide his phone is a good sign. He probably also trusts you and it doesn't occur to him that you would even think of checking up on him.
You are worrying far, far too much. Try to relax and not manufacture problems where none exist! If you had SOLID, CAST IRON evidence that he was cheating, that would be very different. As it is, from what you've told us, that does not appear to be the case.
As I said earlier, let this go, and don't give him reason to doubt YOU by checking up on his calls! To say nothing of bugging the heck out of yourself with this kind of thinking! Go read a good book; meet friends; enjoy the weather; do some volunteer work that appeals to you - in other words, focus on something else. Then when you do talk to him and get together in person, just enjoy one another's company - no jealousy, no suspicions or accusations! You'll be just fine.
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