A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi, my husband and I have been married for 35yr's. The problem is if I ask him to flush the toilet,or rinse the sink after he brushes teeth he tells me if I don't like it move out. Always telling how to drive,we are both retired and disabled and he leaves me all the chores. He walks ahead of me everywhere and I don't know if I'm to stay in the marriage or if he really wants me to move out. Thank you
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2015): Hes being an impatient, irritable bully, set in his ways .You can divorce him.If he walks ahead of you just turn back and when he finally notices he might see how antisocial he is.Or just refuse to go anywhere with him and get out meeting other people.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (20 September 2015):
 You may reasonably assume that he'd just as soon that you move on and out. Once you do so (move on) you'll find that HE will have an and epiphany - an amazing change-of-heart - and he will come grovelling to you.....
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 September 2015):
 Is the retirement thing new for him? Do you think he is not liking being retired?
Both my Dad and my husband had issues when they stood at a point where they could retire, my dad did for all of 3 years and honestly (according to my mom) he was horrible at home. And I have seen my husband not liking it ONE bit to not be productive (outside of the house) and being annoying to have around (like wanting to change how the kitchen is set up, where I keep pots and pans, utensils ect, NOT because he started to partake in the cooking, but I think because he was bored and trying to "help". Giving me "tips" on doing this I have been doing for over 20 years. I mean give me a break - lol.
Is he being forgetful or is he doing these things on purpose?
One option is to seek legal advice if leaving IS one of the things you can see yourself doing. Consulting a lawyer should be step #1.
STOP doing all the chores. You say he leave you all the chores, but ... like he told you... if he doesn't LIKE that you don't run around behind him picking up, HE can just leave too, right? So stop doing things for him. If he leaves the sink nasty, LEAVE the sink. (It's harder to ignore an unflushed toilet though, that's just nasty), but since asking him to flush it doesn't work, flush it and move on. He takes you asking him to do simple courteous things as "nagging" and thus he responds with a "you can just leave"... Maybe give him some chores so he can feel productive? See if that helps?
He walks ahead of you everywhere? Seriously? I think he knows that annoys you so he does it, OR you are like many women (liking to walk slower when you are out and about to browse windows etc). So why take him with you? I mean if you have to go to the store and he acts like this, do you HAVE to bring him? Or just send him on his own. If my husband comes with me places (where he don't REALLY want to be, like Farmer's Market) - I don't expect him to stay by my side, I'm quite capable on my own, and if he can't find me/I can't find him - there are the cell phones for that.
I have to say, there must be more to the story than unflushed toilets and toothpaste in the sink. Could it be that the two of you are having trouble finding your new rhythm? after retirement? Do you two do things together that you BOTH enjoy? Or has it come down to you two "nagging" each other over little things that after 35 years should be the norm ( I think it should be the norm to flush a toilet... but maybe that is just me)....
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