A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a serious problem, I've started seeing a guy few months ago, we have been friends fourteen years and always had feelings for each other, was always bad timing. So here we are, we haven't had sex etc yet as I wanted to go slow even though I've always loved him. He says his in love with me, talks about marriage, future and how he knew we would end up together. Now the issue, I've lost and regained weight a few times, now I'm looking good in clothes but my body is a mess, I'm not one if those girls who just says it. I have loose skin, thighs and stomach are totally flabby and hang a bit. Even my doctor said only a plastic surgeon can fix these things. Ive told my partner my body is a mess and I have flabby bits and gross bits and he said girls always worry plus I've had kids and women's bodies change, don't think he gets how bad it is. He trains a lot, is making me a program to help me etc. I'm so scared when he sees my body, feels it he will be turned off. I'm not overweight technically but its really bad. I know I'm a nice person and i have a nice face but the thought of him being disgusted scares me. Please help thank you :-)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2012): I really do understand, after my first child, my belly now hangs, it stretched terribly and Ive lost about half the weight, it just looks worse. The dr says I may need surgery, but theres one more thing I can try, but not until after I have abother child, which will be a few yrs down the road. So I really sympathize. Sometimes when you lose considerable amounts of weight, plastic surgeons will donate their time esp if the hanging skin is creating other conditions ex rashes, chafing, sores,etc. Other that you try girdles, and other such under garments, it wont get rid of the skin, but may help make it pull back and get a bit more firm. But it will help shape you. Good luck and best wishes
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 November 2012):
 I lost over 100 pounds with gastric bypass. I had terrible sagging skin... so bad actually that it was reconstructive and my insurance covered it.
I feel your pain...
what i did was find some really cute short nighties with underwires for my boobs... that covered the belly... (my worst areas) when I started new with my now husband. He had not known me when I was obese so i was insanely worried.
I wore tank tops during sex for the longest time... showers together were by candlelight..
one of the things that helped was we TALKED about it a lot... I TOLD HIM my fears...
and for what it's worth when I did have the plastic surgery (which BTW was the WORST surgery recovery I ever had) he was kind and took time from work and took great care of me...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2012): I have terrible scars on my chest that I thought would put my boyfriend off. He did ask about them the first time he saw them but they weren't an issue to him to the point that I even forget they're there.
You've been friends for 14 years so presumably he's seen how much weight you lost. What I'm trying to say is this man sounds genuine, if he loves you for who you are then he will find you attractive, lumps, bumps, stretch marks, loose skin and all
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