A
female
age
36-40,
*razy beautiful
writes:I'd like to know, why I am single, and how important is body image?I'm a university educated, career-focused, independent, woman- who has nothing but horrific relationships with men. I think my problem is, firstly because men are not attracted to me, i definitely wouldnt call myself ugly, i think im not hard to look at, but im also a size 16- im quite tall though, so i can get away with it. I am a happy, free spirited, funny, loyal person, is my larger figure the reason why i am still single?My problem is also, when they are finally interested- they lose interest, leave me for someone else, or i find out they are already in a relationship! I socialise quite a lot, and will go anywhere from a club to a museum, im spontaneous and fun, but i just cant seem to get it right :-(
View related questions:
university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2011): Hey there. There is someone out there for everyone, you dont have to look like a super-model to find a nice bf!
However, you do sound quite hung up on this, and (don't take offence) men (and women!) can smell desperation a mile off. Men are automatically turned off by women who are desperate to find a bf so try to relax more.
I was single for two years not so long ago. For some of that time, I felt desparate to meet someone. Towards the end of the two years I gave up, I was 36, childless and never married. I started to think I would never meet anyone. Then I met my bf and we're still together and things are okay.
What I am saying is when I let go of the need it happened.
A
male
reader, Drew21  +, writes (13 June 2011):
 I guess my first question would be: what kind of man do you find attractive?
What kind of partner are you looking for?
Focus more on what you're looking for in a person, and less on what you may be doing wrong.
Finding a relationship that works for both sides is REALLY a hard thing to do. It takes much patience. I worked for a good ten years before i finally found relationship where we could both stand each others deficiencies.
Also you say you are career oriented. That can also be a challenge-factor in finding a relationship. I married a girl who was very career oriented, and i won't lie it can be hard on a relationship. There are times where things would be so much easier on us if she weren't so driven to succeed in her career, but on the flipside i actually find her independence quite refreshing. She's a realist when it comes to relationships, and i really don't have to be as lovey-dovey, cutesy-cutesy with her. (good because i'm not good at that stuff.)
That's the key, though, is being patient and finding someone that not only likes you, but you like them.
As far as body image goes: I think confidence is always a big turn-on. You have to be comfortable and happy with who you are as a person, both inside and out. If you're not confident, i think there are a lot of scumbags out there who can sense it and will take advantage of you (for instance guys already in relationships!)
Be confident in yourself. Believe that you deserve a good, solid relationship with a man that you can love and respect.
Everything else takes care of itself. You just have to be patient.
...............................
|
