A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am getting worn out. I have addressed issues which have gone ignored. If he disagrees on issues which matter to me, mostly relevant issues, he procrastinates. I give it time, and bring it up again and the process continues until i give up or he hopes I'll give up. eg when we started living together, i requested him to have curtains fixed since i felt very insecure being in an exposed house, this took 2months, of me being freaked out moving about at night, and eventually me being very forceful for it to happen. Im new in his country and i rely on him to get such things done as i don't know places to visit. Our toddler needed a toddler car seat as a replacement of her small unusable infant seat, this took 2months of i mentioning it lovingly without nagging until it was fireworks for it to be done, we discussed about buying a radio, i love music, and since he doesnt care a bit about it he has been pushing it on and on..these are very few examples. I am feeling drained. how are we supposed to live like this? We haven't even lived together for 1year. Is this what i should expect throughout my marriage life? is there a solution. Lastly and importantly i brought up this subject about my unhappiness and feelings of being disrespected when he down plays things i consider relevant. pls give me your thoughts on this.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2013): One thing you should know about husbands: they don't like to take orders. The more bossy/pushy the wife gets, the more the husband will ignore her.
It's not nice to request things without doing part of the task. Your husband will feel he is being treated like a butler, and it hurts.
To be nice, show your husband that you want to do a part of the task. Even a tiny part. If you want the curtains fixed, go to your husband and say "Can I help you with the curtains? I can take responsibility. I enjoy it" and he will probably kiss you and say "No darling, I will take care of them. But thanks for asking"
As simple as that.
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (8 June 2013):
 You are new to his country? How long have you been there? You need to do some exploring to become independent and self-sufficient. I typically don't care to tell my husband to get car seats or fix curtains. I usually go to the store and get what I need. I wouldn't WANT my husband picking out a radio for me, because I need to hear the choices.
Is there a language barrier in the country you're in? If there is, you may want to do some mail order for things you need, like ordering a baby seat, or translating pages from Swedish to English in order for you to study the place you're in to try to get adventurous.
Finally, I'd suggest the Lost In Translation approach...meaning making a friend would be an amazing thing to do there. Get a support system, and then you'll go from needing to depend on him to conquering the place.
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