A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been working with someone for about 6months now, we get one really well, always laughing and have a weird connection, like we've known each other for years. He recently told me that he likes me, but he has a live in girlfriend of 12yrs. He is 40 and I am 28, the problem is we went out for a meal after work and ended up kissing eachother. Now I feel so confused, I had and have no intention of getting involved with somones boyfriend and do not feel great that this has happened. I cried myself to sleep because of the guilt and I do not even know his partner, but the attraction we have is so strong I have never felt this before in my life, even when he is in the same room I have this weird sensation all over me, its so strange the effect he has on me.He told me that they have been having problems for years and that he should have sorted it out aages ago, in a recent email he said that he is not sure they can be happy together - he said that in the past she had an affair and it was upsetting for him. He also says that she wants to live somewhere else etc..and seems to be always talkin about her and how she feels, instead of himself, which I find alitle strange...The problem is I am torn between thinking he is just playing me or that what he has said is real, then I think its none of my business, his relationship and thats something for him to sort, and I have told him that i dont feel confortable acting on it any further, because i do not want to responsible for a break up either way - her finding out and it end or he leaves her for me - but he contacts me nearly everyday and I can feel myself falling for him, we have to see eachother for work. I have been in 2 long-term relationships and hurt both times. I dont know how to handle this situation, I am sooo confused.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your advice. I am trying to so hard to sort this situation out. The last time we met, we ended up kissing again. He hugs me etc...and I cant push him away! whats is wrong with me? Next week we have to meet for work and he wants to cook for me afterwards? should I just not go? he has also arrange to go someone as a surprise on friday. He says that he will explain everything to me next week - about why he is not feeling guilty about what is happening with us while he has a girlfriend and that he has been through so much in his relationship he deserves to be happy etc...am I just being really stupid here?
A
female
reader, prenezmoila  +, writes (29 December 2008):
 The biggest thing to consider here is, if you were to start dating, he doesn't have qualms with kissing someone else while you're dating. Remember that.
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