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female
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anonymous
writes: I've been dating my boyfriend now for 6 months and in that short period of time he has broke up with me 9 times. Everytime he breaks it off and goes away for a couple days he comes back and wants to be back with me. He says that our breakups should be considered fights and not breakups, but to me they are breakups. I can't stop loving him no matter what I do and everytime he comes back to me I always take him back.How can I let go and keep from letting him come back?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2006): I was exactly in your position in my first year of uni. I hadn’t really had a boyfriend besides a schoolies fling and met someone at a friend’s birthday party. We dated for six months in total (breaking up three times within that). At first he was very much into the relationship but I was indifferent so I ended it after two weeks. Then we got back together and the tables turned, when in the last few months our relationship appeared to be the last thing on his mind. But, being none the wiser, I went away and came back three weeks later with him waiting on my door step ready to end things again – for good. After our track record I didn’t believe it’d be definite but it was – and it took me a long, long time to get over him (time I now wished I’d spent much more wisely).If you want any more advice or to read similar situations visit www.datingadvice.com.au - it's a relationship info goldmine!
A
female
reader, Clarey  +, writes (26 April 2006):
 Hello there. Is there a common theme to these arguments? Does it feel as though he is looking for faults or reasons when they happen? If he feels he would like more time to himself, he can have it without using this tactic surely. If he trying to keep you keen it should not work forever and you will get tired of it. He should not be allowed to get away with it, because that just reinforces his belief that this is acceptable behaviour. I suppose you may even get used to it, which would wear you down. I would tell him that if he goes off again in a temper, you are going to finish the relationship. You have to stress that you are deadly serious. It would be different if he said he would like a couple of days to get some things done, that would be fine. Perhaps you can find a tactic so he can make you understand that he wants to do this in a way that is not hurtful. Once when my partner was having an awful time I knew he would want to go off fishing or something. I asked him to say, "There's bears in them there hills and I'm off to pot one! Be back Thurs (etc) see you then". We did fall about laughing as you can imagine. Anyway, once you say it is finished you have to mean it or he will never respect you again. It doesn't sound such a happy relationship though and I think this habit will be hard to break, but I hope you succeed.
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A
male
reader, lboy +, writes (26 April 2006):
 only 6 months and 9 break ups, that is too much, too soon i would get rid of this guy while you can he is obviously not for you, and if you think that it'll be hard to find another guy then just be open and let them come over to you , that's how i do it.
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (26 April 2006):
 6 months and 9 break ups, someone is getting confused over whether this is really break ups or simple arguments.
I have to be honest though a relationship that is based upon so many arguments in such a short period of time means that there is an incompatibility somewhere.
How old are you both?
How long have you known one another?
You say you love him but being miserable because you are fighting is not love it is not a good relationship.
Don't be soft, be firmer when he goes off each time as men do tend to withdraw and women like to talk things through so that is normal.
You have to think to yourself that there could be a guy out there who would be more compatible with you and there would not be the constant arguments.
Arguing drains you and makes you feel low, ask yourself if you enjoy that feeling. If the answer as I suspect is no then you know that the time is right to finish it once and for all.
Consider talking to your boyfriend about the fact that nothing seems to change and every time you get back together again it is just another round of arguments and splitting up again.
Is it the making up that you enjoy? Perhaps it is a case of passion at those times rather than the mundane relationship that you don't like.
Only you can truly decide how you feel about your b/f but it sounds to me that you want to get out once and for all but you are not being strong enough.
Inner strength can come from you if you want it to and if you want to have a happier life that you have right now.
Let me know how things go eh!!
BFN
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2006): How old is this guy? 8? He is using you as a doormat and if you can't see that nobody can help you. You are being used! The sooner you realise that the better, and then you can catch him off guard and break up with him instead. I mean, come on, read what you have written....does that sound like a healthy relationship with a good future to you?
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A
female
reader, princessdizzy +, writes (26 April 2006):
Next time you fight/break up try to stay calm and sort it out before he leaves,tell him if he goes this time its over and get some friends to distract you and keep you really busy so you wont miss him as much, it is hard but the first 6 months should still be the "honeymoon period" and you dont sound like you're having much fun, forget him, there's plenty of men who will treat you as you deserved to be treated.
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