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writes: Hi there, Ive been separated with my ex girlfriend (who is also my housemate) for a week now and I'm growing increasingly worried that she's really made up her mind not to ever get back with me. This is our fourth time breaking up but it seems that this time, she's very serious about it, telling people that she's definitely sure it's over. The reason for our break up was because we argued a lot. It was my call initially but the next day I apologised but she said it was too late and that we can't keep breaking up and getting back together again, which is quite true. I know I can change if only she gave me one last chance to prove myself. I really love her and I desperately want her back but dont want to bug her and seem clingy. Neither of us have plans of moving out and that's making life even harder. Oh, one more thing about her, she's a very stubborn person. I don't know how to get through to her. In the house, we're talking like nothing's happened and that's killing me!! I love her so much and desperately want her back. What should I do??!! Does she not love me anymore? How can she just shut her love for me in just 24 hours? How can I change her mind and show her that I am willing to make an effort??
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2005): Beg for her back.If you really want her back, you'de do anything to get her back.buy flowersor something romanticand leave them somewhere in teh house when she's gone. and then when she comes back and sees it, beg...talk about it. ler her know how you feel, and that you acted rashley. don't let her leave with out talking about it with you. really put some effort into getting her back.don't worry about being too clingy. if you really love her, then you will be clingy. love makes you crazy. and love for a woman doesn't make a man any less of a man.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2005): Hi there,After reading your letter, I couldn't help but think that you shouldn't be putting all your energy into trying to win her back right now. I can understand how you feel, my boyfriend is also very stubborn and apologies can take some time. Maybe you could take some time apart? Stay with a friend for a few days and let her - and you - get some space.The tension may also lay in the fact that she is your housemate AND your girlfriend. Maybe she feels that while she enjoys living with you as a friend, she doesn't feel that your relationship is at the stage where you should be living together as a couple?As i said before, get some breathing space, if only for a few days then try and talk to her, calmly. I'm sure she'll come around when she's had time to cool off.Good luck!
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reader, pops +, writes (17 June 2005):
OH, please ! You cannot change unless you do a large share of growing up, and probably get professional help, too. Do it. That is probably the only thing that might change her mind and give you another chance. Sit down and write out what you argue about, and how you begin these arguments. Why do you start arguments that you know or should know will lead to her walking out? Are you seeing any patterns? pops
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