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anonymous
writes: Me and my boyfriend are having a baby soon and have been together for three years. I love him very much. Recently he has become really close to another girl. They text each other all the time and she's the one that he mostly spends with at the weekend. He says they are just close friends and I do sort of believe that nothing will go on but he treats her better than me.They go out to the dancing together, they go out for lunch, just them two. He doesn't do anything like that with me. He says if I come out with him like to the dancing he feels as though he can't be himself. I dont know how he feels about me any more cause he doesn't tell me but he says he can talk to this friend and that we have never been able to talk like that. It wouldn't bother me if he just gave me some attention and I have asked for it. He thinks that things are okay between us and he says he does want to be with me. But I can't deal with how close they are. I dont want to stop them being friends.
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reader, pops +, writes (17 June 2005):
Walk out of this relationship quick. He obviously wants this relationship with the other woman, and whatever you had is over. Accept it. Get a lawyer, and sue him for child support. Do it now. But get away from him. He doesn't want to be married, and he doesn't want to be a father. pops
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2005): I think under the circumstances this so called "friendship" needs to be distanced! What he is doing is totally out of order and to be honest it seems to me that either he has feelings for this girl or he's using her as a means of escape from you because of the pregnancy. He may be finding the pregnancy hard to deal with and just needs time to come to terms with it but that doesn't excuse what he's been doing.You need to talk to your boyfriend. Tell him that no matter what you love and trust him but you feel hurt because he is spending all his time and attention on this woman. Once he knows how you feel, I'm surte if he loves you he will be understanding and change his ways. Ask him how would he feel if you were doing the same thing. Sometimes people need to be told something in order to acknowledge it. Men lack sensitivity as the best of times. I'm sure that talking with help. Be sure to tell your boyfriend what you expect from him and that you will not stand for being treated as second best. You should be his number one priority right now.
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female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (14 June 2005):
 YOu need to sit and tell him your fears as soon as possible for the sake of you and the baby. Let him know that you are feeling neglected and that you are unsure as to why he would rather spend time with her, let him know how much you care about him and want to be with him, and let him know that you want him to keep his friends but not at the cost of your relationship. tell him that you need to come first once in a while and found out if its you he wants or the baby, its not fair if he is just hanging around for the sake of the baby. Yes its good that he has taken on the responsibilty, but not good for you if hes not interested in you and wants to be with other woman. You need to dicuss this now to see where youstand and concentrate on you and teh baby, its the baby that is the most important thing in all this and you need to put that first.
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