A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am going through break up. It will be two weeks on Sat. Despite everything he and I have gone through, and the wrong I feel he does, I still very much care for him and would like it to work.We would have a lot to work on. He was completely supporting me fincanially in every way. I have since told him to close our joint account because I do not feel it is appropriate I still use his money. And I have not used it. He refused siting that, "it is your money, don't feel bad or guilty, it is only fair." I told him no, I did not want it and he said "well, I will just leave it there." He knew of a trip I was taking on Tuesday, and has put $1200 more dollars in the account. Yet, he has not reached out to me to talk, not one time during this entire break up, and it hurts. I contacted him so he could close the account, and another time because he is suppose to sign over the car title to the car he purchased me. He has yet to do that either.I also sent a rant of text messages, and called 3 times one night. That was a couple of days before I asked him to close the account etc. I was embarrassed by my actions (text and calls) and decided I need to regain my dignity and move forward.Before we broke up he said if we ever broke up he would still take care of me until I got a job and got on my feet. My thing is, I specifically asked him to stop and he hasn't. Do you think he may be thinking of getting back together?Thanks
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 October 2014):
 What if.. he at the other end is saying the same thing? I don't want to be the first one to make a move? I want to keep my pride and dignity?
There is NO way of knowing if he is helping you out because he was RAISED to be a good man who KEEPS his promises or... if he has hoped that HELPING you out, showing you support will make you forgive and forget.
So unless you two talk. You won't know.
My only advice is, IF you decide to talk to him and talk about getting back together - SORT out whatever broke you two up FIRST, don't sweep it under the rug.
Not much help, I know, just common sense.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 October 2014):
 I don't think it necessarily means that he is wanting to get back together with you . I think it means : a ) that he's got money to burn, lucky him :)- what to another guy may seem something worth discussing about or fighting for, for him is just small change, so he can afford to simply not bother much about it b ) that he is being true to his word, for whatever reason ( probably he feels guilty for having dumped you out of the blue ). If he said and promised that he is going to take financial care of you until you get back on your feet and get yourself a job, that's what to him feels right and moral doing , and that what he is going to do regardless of your opinion about it.
In short it's half " noblesse oblige ", half a guilty conscience.Is it possible that he is ALSO leaving the door slightly open, rather than slamming it shut definitely ? Maybe. Bt I would not wait with bathed breath, and I'd try to move on with my life. Also because you said there would be several issues to work on. Maybe he does not particularly care , or he is not particularly keen, to "work " on those isuues.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2014): Thank you for your response.
I don't want to be off the account. I just want to give that impression. I feel that me not using the account is showing him enough.
I do not think I made it clear in my post what my motive was.
Let me clear it up now for future readers:
1. I want to work out my relationship.
2. It is hard when he doesn't reach out. I don't want to be the one to reach out either. Not right now anyway. Because I am always the one to come back after a fight.
3. Wanted to know, in your opinion, if him still taking care of me shows he may want to work it out. Just opinions. Obviously no one knows him here.
4. Saving some pride and dignity here
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 October 2014):
Just remove yourself from HIS accounts? Pretty simple.
If you don't want him to feel he owes you anything then SHOW him.
And no, it doesn't necessarily means he wants to get back together, it means he feels RESPONSIBLE for you still. He is trying to be a "good guy" here.
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