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anonymous
writes: How can i get my ex in boyfriend to leave me alone? The relationship has been over for a long time, but he just keeps coming back to my home. He still has a key and seems to think that he can come and shower and leave his dirty clothes and sleep here when ever he wants! He hasn't contributed to the household bills for months but still uses the phone and eats my food. He just won't leave me alone. I have asked him to leave and according to him, he has, but has moved nothing out. He just stays with a friend the odd night. It's like a nightmare.
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female
reader, bettyboop_uk2002 +, writes (27 August 2005):
sounds like this man hasnt quite understood u have broken up, perhaps he is waiting for u to make up and take him back, and is relucntant to move out, and making that final step of moving on. tell him straight u want him out, completely out! and if he doesnt, move him out urself. bag up his stuff and place it in the hall... he will get the message loud and clear...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2005): hello,by the sounds of it, your ex, is not willing to treat you with respect,also,he is not willing to let anybody else have a relationship with you.If you are scared of him for any reason,you should first get the locks changed.If he comes around the house pestering you,phone the police.However ,if he is not violent etc,but not takin notice,still contact the police so he knows you are serious
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A reader, Natalies, writes (19 February 2005): For one, it seems that you feel you owe him for something, and if you don't, why haven't you thrown his stuff out by now? This does not have to be literal, you could put them in bin liners or boxes on the front garden. Also, get your locks changed, for security reasons too! Invite some mates round on the day/night you do this, just so as you feel safer. If anything else happens, take the burden off yourself and get the police involved. Good luck.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (17 February 2005):
 Hi there,There's a tired old cliche that goes: "No one can take advantage of you without your permission."He keeps coming back because you keep letting him. Why has he got a key to your place? It's a terrible security risk, for a start. What if he decides he's mad at you for something and trashes the place (making you liable for repairs), or gives the key to a friend to do something similar? It's madness letting him have a key, so, the first thing you do is get the locks changed and, if necessary, get his name off the lease!Second, give him a dated, signed letter (you keep your own photocopy) that says that he has 7 days (or whatever time frame you specify) to get all of his property out of your house, or it will be donated to a local charity. Next, stop accepting his phone calls and don't let him in. Remember, he's a grown man and is able to take care of himself. If you let him in, he will continue to take advantage of you.If he gives you any trouble, ring and speak to your local police, and tell them that you have an ex-boyfriend who is refusing to leave your premises. It's the job of the police to help in this situation, and they will come and politely escort him away. You don't have to press charges.Hope that this helps, but you're going to have to start standing up for yourself!-B
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A reader, Becks, writes (16 February 2005): Hi all I can suggest is throwing all his stuff out of the house or leaving it all packed where he can see it and see if he gets the hint. That way if not have him done for entering without being invited!!
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