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anonymous
writes: What makes a 50 year old, "happily married" man turn to another woman (me) for affection, cuddles, conversation, laughs and companionship (no sex)? His children are 22 and 20 (one has left home and the other is about to). This situation has been going on for 4 years. He says he does not want to lose his house!! He is a dedicated father and has often said he doesn't want his daughters to think badly of him. Am I just a "fire-starter" as maybe the spark has gone from his marriage? Is he on some kind of ego trip? I have tried all the answers but the fact it has gone on so long has me so confused, particularly as we have not had sex (although have come quite close on occasions). We are both totally at peace with each other and just seem to "fit together". Is he a coward and am I just being terribly naive??? I was married for 12 years and have no children. Help, should I wait a bit longer for him? Or, am I just deluding myself??? Aaagggghhhhh!!!Annoyed.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, Sara, writes (16 February 2005): To me it doesn't sound as if you are both at peace with each other. You want more and he is completely happy with what he has. You seem as if you are waiting for him to want more, but the truth is he wont be. You deserve something more and wont find it until you get him out of your life or relize he is just your friend. If you have been at this close stage with him for three years and you still havent had intercourse, dont count on him suddenly desiring this from you. If you have made your desires clear to him and you are still at this stagnate stage, your just freinds.
A reader, Ogs, writes (16 February 2005): It sounds to me like he is searching for the affection he no longer receives at home from his wife.However as he has made no move to change the situation in the last 4 years I believe that things wil stay this way. His children are old enough to understand whatever their father does.I suggest you get on with your life and look for someone who is available - it's just possible that if you say you no longer want to see him it may make him assess what he really wants.
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