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We've broken up and I'm hurt

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 January 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 9 January 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

i have just ended things with my boyfriend, we had been together almost three years, and in that time he has cheated on twice.

I am very upset about the breakup even though i am the one who made the choice, when i told him, he accepted it and did not put up a fight to stay with me. so even though i have what i asked for and i still believe now that i have made the better choice, why do i feel worse? why did he not put up any fight for me? why did he wait till he was leaving and then turn round and say i love you if it was so easy for him to accept it? he has hurt me alot and i hate the thought of me being the only one to suffer and get over this, i know thats selfish but thats just how i am feeling. why am i the one crying when he is the one who hurt me?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (9 January 2009):

Honeypie agony auntI'm sorry you got hurt. But here is how I see it. If he's cheated on you twice (that you know of) you are FAR better of without him. Breaking up was the best thing you could have done, for YOU. Screw him.

It is ok to be sad, it is ok to mourn a relationship (or the idea of that relationship, cause face it if a guy treats you with so little respect and love that he cheats and have no problems doing so, it's not a healthy relationship anyhow.)

Give yourself time. It's time to be selfish! Do things for yourself, work on yourself. Learn how to avoid his "type" (as in cheater) in the future.

He wasn't worthy. And you know it.

Chin up!

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A female reader, SoftlyCaress  +, writes (9 January 2009):

SoftlyCaress agony auntSorry about the hurt you are feeling it will get easier you just have to take it one day at a time and find something you enjoy doing and go to it because it does help.While you think he isnt hurting if he cared for you any at all he is hurting Just not allowing you to see it . Men are so good at hiding their feelings at times .And you did make the right decision from my past with my ex I found that once you cheat you will continue very few learn from their mistakes .The ones that do are worth fighting for the one that does it more then once arent just let him go and be patient someone that is worthy of your love will come along and knock you off your feet when it is time just give yourself time to mend right now ........

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