A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have an issue with my boyfriend. I have been with him for a few years now and just dont fancy him at all. is it time to call it a day on this relationship?i havnt told him of my concerns but basically sex is just clumsy and i find myselk avoiding it completly.when he does make the move i force myself to go along with it but i have to fantasize about something or someone else in order to get through it all.i see him as mroe of a friend these days, however if he left me i know i would be devastated and unable to function. i dont have any other close friends so do you think this is the reason i find mysef still with him?or am i just going through a phase do you think?i dont want to discuss this with him as he is very insecure and if i worry him with this he will just leave anyway because thats what he is like.
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male
reader, liberal7676  +, writes (23 February 2013):
Leave him. You may not realize it, but you are using him because you do not want to be lonely. If you are with him fantasizing about someone else, then it`s not fair to either of you. End the relationship.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 February 2013):
 you are only with him till something better catches your eye.
I'm not saying you are using him... no not at all... but your post screams to me that you are staying out of fear of loneliness.
you say he's insecure.... probably because he knows in his gut you are just walking through the motions of the relationship and no longer love him.
it's a lousy lousy situation to be in.... it was like this for me with my first boyfriend.... i cried harder than he did when I broke up with him.... i cared about him deeply and didn't want to hurt him but I needed to get out of the relationship....
you must tell him how you feel and give him the chance to leave.... if you are not brave enough to leave him....
(because in the end what will happen if you stay with him, is that you will be posting on here about how you love your husband but your not in love with him and you met this guy in the grocery store... and our eyes just met while we were reaching for the bananas and I felt something I had not felt for years... what should I do....)
You are doing both you and your boyfriend disservice by staying in a relationship that is not fulfilling.
If you truly care that much about him... even if you are afraid to be alone you should let him know so he can cut himself free.... let him go find someone who truly loves ALL of him and wants him like you did in the beginning. let him go so he can experience what being truly loved by someone feels like.
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A
male
reader, bronzed adonis +, writes (23 February 2013):
 It sounds to me like you are only with him through having fear of being alone. You are using him really. What is wrong with being single for a while? If you do not fancy him, then it`s not your fault. If you do not fancy him, then what`s going to happen when you meet a guy that you do fancy? If you do not fancy him, and you are fantasizing about someone else, then how long is the pretense going to carry on for?
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