A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months. We live together. I absolutely adore him. He suffers from erectile disfunction. We had a good sex life at the beginning, now we have sex once per week. He just does that to keep me happy. He has no urge at all. I feel really undesirable as a result. I know it's not personal but it's hard not to feel that way.I don't want to put pressure on him about it but I can't help worrying about our future and I don't know how long I can go on feeling unloved. He falls asleep on the sofa every night, we never go to bed together. If I don't initiate it we could go days without kissing or even touching each other. I know everything fizzles but I feel it's much too soon to be here.
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kissing, sex life, unloved Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe's too embarrassed to see his go. He thinks it's his diet so he's changed that but has started smoking again which can be another cause. I don't want to embarrass him & I don't want to pressurise him & I definitely wouldn't give him the heave ho but I'm feeling sad a lot of the time.
I've tried just waiting for things to get better but after 3 months in getting fed up of being fed up!
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (3 February 2015):
 Before you give him the old "heave ho" and run him off for limp member syndrome. Why not have him see a urologist? It could be an enlarged prostate or other treatable problem. There's always the pills you see ad nausium on TV that solve all the world's problems. Yes, I'm being facitious. I don't believe the problem as presented. Ergo you should look at other factors instead of immediatly blaming yourself.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe were long distance for 4 months but he visited me lots. This is why we moved in together. He owns the house, he cooks for me all the time. He's really thoughtful, we get on great, we laugh a lot. There's so many pros
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (2 February 2015):
 I think you two are a bad match sexually, and I can only really see one "future" and that is your libido dying a SLOW death while you two become just room-mates.
I think you two jumped the gun on moving in together so soon, because it DOES complicate matters as either of you can't JUST move out tomorrow.
It IS way too soon for things to fizzle.
The fact that you had a good sex life in the beginning makes me think, bait and switch. He "sold" himself as the "whole package BF" with sex, intimacy and good company but once you started living together you now see that SEX isn't something he really needs, not even intimacy. My guess is he got a GF who cooks, cleans and take care of her man, and you.... you get a companion.
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