A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This is maybe a dumb question but I met this girl about two weeks ago and we have really hit it off and get together several times a week, text everyday. I would like to eventually become exclusive with her but I'm not sure how long to wait/bring up this conversation.She told me that she is seeing me and also someone else and is still going on the website that we met on ( I am also going on) and I know since we aren't exclusive we can both do what we want. Should I just keep my options open also or how/when can I bring this up? I haven't dated long term in several years and I feel like most dating I've done recently has fizzled out due to bad timing, situations, etc. Thanks for the help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2015): So, you basically hangout in her house, and only 3 times went on dates? I am assuming you are sleeping together. I would deffinitely bring it up, honesty is always a good policy. Tell her about your intentions, she might feel already the same. May be that's why she is browsing Internet because she is not sure what your plans are. I am personally very much against this so called open relationship when sex part already happen. I would feel very uncomfortable and frankly quite disturbed if a guy who i sleep with still going on dating sites looking for someone better. Doesn't it bother you that she sleeps with you and still looking around? This is more like a fuck body relationship then real dating. At 2 weeks you are not even supposed to be intimate just yet, but if it already happen, what buggles my mind, why you are being so honest with each other about seeing other people? More available choices never made anyone happier, it's just complicates everything. My friend is a beatifull woman, and guys ask her out all the time. She got into habit of dating 3-4 guys at the time. And sometimes she sleeps with all of them. The result is she is single for many many years. Because she has so many choices, she can never concentrates on one, and frankly the choices she makes are....at least not that appropriate. She is her early 40s. Guy 1 is a 30 years old, just divorced with 2 kids, and on to of that they work together. Guy2 is long distance, comes every month for a few days. guy3 is incredible slob and also like 7 years younger than her. And then she has a FWB who she sees once a week for the past 5 years. But the result is she doesn't have a oyfriend and all alone.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (3 February 2015):
 I agree with Honeypie. If you've gone sexual, this is the time to talk about it.
Be very careful, because 2 weeks is really fast. Don't start telling you you love her at 3 weeks, and don't start calling her "my future wife" at 4 weeks and so on.
Those types of relationships are "flameouts" and may be the reason you haven't been dating long term.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 February 2015):
 So are you sleeping together? If so, I would without doubt bring it up.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2015): Thanks. We have been on 3 actual dates and I see her about 4 times a week and usually spend nights at her place.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 February 2015):
How many actual DATES have you two been on?
If none, then I would suggest you two GO out and spend time in PERSON not just through texting and phone calls. GET to KNOW her IN person.
Should you keep your options open? I don't think so, if you FEEL she could be someone you want to date. I'd have a good 4-6 dates and then bring it up.
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