A
female
age
26-29,
*eyond_tragedy
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for about 4 years now and are living together.Now I've kinda hit a point where I'm torn.I need help as to what am i doing wrong or how should I take this.Every now and then my boyfriend hits these points where he gets tired of our life.In other words hell stay in the room bored wont talk to me, doesn't want to go and wont touch me.This has happened before but the things he says during these phases is hurtful.Last time he got like this he told me im boring and truth is hes the one that never wants to do anything.He complains if i force him out or nag so i stopped.Now this time around i tried to get him to sleep with me maybe cheer him up and he keeps declining.This has been going on for past couple days where he turns me down.I asked him are you not attracted to me and he says what if i'm not.Hearing those words hurt me so bad because i'm trying so hard to make him happy.I gave him space and i try inviting him out.I spent a whole day cleaning and cooking for him but nothing.I still keep in shape and eat healthy but is that enough?In case anyone ask no he doesn't exactly like lingerie so i cant even seduce him that way.Normally he gets over it after couple of days but i'm hurting right now.He doesn't like to really show affection either so I feel lonely.I tell him I love him hell mumble it.My thing is if he doesn't want us why not say it and were done?Instead i'm dragging along trying to keep us together.I don't want to break up until he decided hes done so i can say at least i tried till the end. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (1 February 2018):
 Could he be suffering from depression?
A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (31 January 2018):
The guy is a loser and he's trying to blame you for his shortcomings. If you'd mentioned only one of the many problems you have, this relationship might be worth the work and effort to revive.
Any thought of that immediately dissipates the moment you mention that he's insulting you. Anyone who insults you rather than talking thru problems rationally gets kicked to the curb...NOW. You know you deserve better. Not only will you be much happier without him, you'll feel healthier, as well. It is time to take action.
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A
male
reader, Roboaxe +, writes (31 January 2018):
 Excuse my language, but he sounds like a real piece of shit.
He doesn't deserve you at all. You deserve someone who wants to be with you in every sense of the word. At this stage you shouldn't feel like you have to "earn" his attraction. And those are very hurtful things he said.
Dump him. Fast.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 January 2018):
 OP, your BF is done with the relationship but he doesn't have the balls to end it.
He has told you this OVER and OVER with his actions but isn't willing to say it.
Why stay when you have to walk around eggshells because he is being an ass?
WHY wait for HIM to make the choice? Have you no say in your own life? What IF he will drag this "past expiration date" relationship out for months or even another year? All while you are BOTH miserable?
WOMAN up!
You can't FIX this relationship all by yourself and HE is refusing to help.
You have tried getting him out of the house, do things, sex, giving him space, cleaning and cooking to cheer him up and what do you get in return? APATHY. Because he genuinely doesn't give a single F any more. It's just CONVENIENT for him to keep you on as a room mate.
You tried. and you tried hard. You know the saying you can drag a horse to water but you CAN NOT make it drink? Same with your dude. You can't MAKE the relationship WORK when he no longer is interested.
For ONCE, OP put yourself first. If the place is his, FIND yourself a new place to live, pack your stuff, separate ALL bills and divide all furniture, kitchen ware etc. AND get out. START living your life without having to CATER to this sullen asshat.
At some point you NEED to accept things are NOT getting better and there IS nothing more you can do.
Make YOURSELF the priority in your life.
My guess is he will not enjoy his solitude as much once YOU dump him. But don't fall for that, after you move out don't TRY and be his "friend" cut the contact and MOVE on.
You can do it!
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