A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been going out for a year and a few days. Before we went out I had just gotten out of a nasty relationship about 1 1/2 months before, maybe a bit longer. He used to text me every night 'I love you sweet dreams!" and cute poems in french...now I'm lucky if get a 'goodnight' or even a text letting me know he got home safely. We were crazy about one another!! I gave up a lot for him....drinking, smoking, parties...whatever. I loved him that much. By no means did I suffocate him, i'm a great gf. I let him hang out with his buddies whenever, he didn't have to check in with me where he was, he could talk and have as many other girls -for-friends as he wanted! We did things he liked to do, I never made him buy me ANYTHING! We either went dutch or took turns, and if he was paying i usually stuck with something cheap. He never wants to hold my hand or kiss in public anymore, but he gets mad if we can't have sex because I work early in the mornings and can't be at his house until 3 am then go home. He doesn't tell me he loves me over the phone anymore. He says all I do is start fights when I try and bring something up like pointing out the right road to take home or whatever. I'm so confused..a few months ago he wouldn't have ever done this to me. I know he's gone through some personnel stress but that's all resolved! I've done everything in my power to try and help in school, work, whatever. Could he be cheating on me? The other day he asks, while i'm out buying ingredients for dinner (cooking together is our thing and he promised me we could do it that night) if his best friends girlfriend (his best friend was out of town) could come over and play video games, then he'd come over and help me finish up cooking..."She's really lonely! We both really miss ____" I said yes! Why did I say yes? I don't know! Oh yeah he had a sex dream about her too! so he's 4 hours late for dinner...which I finished for him, alone. On our 1 year date he let me pick out the restaurant and all he did was text his friends under the table and bitch about the foodHe doesn't even care if I got home safely from the train...no texts of 'Did you make it in ok?'..I feel like it's not even the same guy! He's a complete stranger.i'm asking what happened? Why so suddenly? Is he having an affair?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2010): Honey, I would start off asking myself if this is what you want in a boyfriend. What do you want in a relationship? Was this what you had hoped for when you started?
I'd recently learned that if you give too much, you end up creating higher expectations for the other person to live up to...you end up getting far below what you expect. You don't have to do everything. He has a responsibility to make you feel appreciated and loved. It's give and take. Take a little. And start by taking some time for yourself to consider what you want out of this and if you're getting it.
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