A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:How can i trust my partner when he always has his mobile on silent, takes it everywhere with him (even to the loo) and has PIN numbers on it, so if anyone does pick it up they have no chance of using it.Sometimes I catch him "texting" but he always says he is doing his "to do list"..I did find a text on it from him to another woman and vice versa a few months ago but he says that is all over and he hasn't gone off on his own since and he loves me and wants us to work.I also read some text off another woman when we first met asking if she was still his lover...so it doesn't fill me with a secure feeling.The thing is, he knows how insecure I am over his mobile and text but does nothing to alleviate my suspicions. I have asked him just to have his mobile so the ring can be heard or even leave it in the room (even with the PIN on) whilst he goes out, but he won't.He says it is like his diary and private, but when i see him texting or looking at it (i.e. reading a message I start to feel sick).We have been together 6 years and I hate feeling suspicious. I often think to myself, that he is with me and even if he is texting someone else it can't mean anything, but where would it end?I wish i could get his mobile phone and destroy it
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2007): my boyfriend is like that to i dont want to look at his fone in case he has a text from a girl it would make me really upset. i let him look at my phone but i haven't ever asked to look at his fone, he said that i can but i dont know if hes hiding anthing.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2007): i have just read my question back - and it all falls into place now.
He has forced me out of my home and is moving someone else in - so my suspicions were right.
He is a liar and a cheat and what goes around comes around - can't wait...
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A
male
reader, Blue Rat  +, writes (23 April 2007):
Of course a person's mobile is their private property and no-one, not even a husband or wife has the RIGHT to look at their partner's messages or address book.However, his behaviour is extremely suspicious and has all the hallmarks of someone who is hiding something. He's making unrealistic demands on your trust, and I'm not surprised you're suspicious and wonder what he's hiding. I would be the same in your shoes. My partner and I both leave our mobiles lying around at home all the time and either of us could easily pick up the other's and read texts or answer a call. We respect each other's privacy but equally have nothing to hide.You need to confront him about it and tell him you're simply not prepared to put up with his sneaky, furtive behaviour. Of course you have to be willing to see that through if he won't change. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2007): Hi,
I think from what you have wrote that he is not being entirely truthful with you. I might be wrong, but I doubt it because it is all the hallmark signs of a cheater. I know this because my ex was the same.
She used to leave her phone lying around the house then after a course she attended she changed and carried her phone with her EVERYWHERE including the bathroom. The odd occasion she did leave it lying, I snooped and saw that she had deleted all her text messages from her phone. I was SO suspicious.
I confronted her and she lied, said there was nothing to worry about. We split up because I didnt trust her and I found out she was seeing someone else basically. My instincts were right.
Im sorry that you are going through this and there are lots of people on here that can help you with your problems no matter how big or small.
There is no reason why he should have his phone on silent in the house when he is texting all the time, no reason at all. It sounds like he is lying to you and if it were me, I would show him the door. Good luck whatever happens and best wishes.
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