A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My bf and i have been together about 2 yrs now, and the affection just seems to be gone. It's like he's shutting me out, picking fights ... just being so much less concerned about what's going on w/ me at all. If I tell him i love him he still says it back, but he never says it first. He was never a big 'i love you' guy, but he used to say it on his own occasionally. And he used to verbalize from time to time what I meant to him. But it's been many months since any of that. We're about to be long-distance for a year, and I don't know what to make of all this. My normal inclination would be to think that he's just lost interest and doesn't love me anymore. But he still wants to see me all the time; it's not like there's some other girl. And when i've asked him about next year, he's said he still wants to be in a relationship.What could be going on with this guy? He's emotionally immature in that he's terrified of being controlled and has a real problem opening up to people - it's next to impossible for him to make himself vulnerable to anyone(he's 26 and i'm his only gf ever). But he has with me in the past. Is he scared? Is there something wrong that he just needs to process on his own? Or is he just not that into me? And if he isn't ... why won't he just say so?
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male
reader, Royofthe Rovers  +, writes (8 May 2007):
 The thought of a long distance relationship is a sary one especially when you have had a close relationship for 2 years. It may be his fear over this which is causing the anger.
What is the nature of the jump to a long distance relationship?
If it is something that you are doing, he may be finding it hard to cope with the thought of you not being around. Instead of enjoying what time you have left, he may be feeling resentment towards a choice you may have made regarding the next year. I can understand this especially if this is the first serious relationship he has had. And with the fact he finds it harder to open up to you.
It is easier sometimes to show anger than it is to show love. Being emotionally withdrawn means his love towards you can take other forms when all he wants to do is tell you he loves you and tell you how much he is going to miss you.
Was his change in attitude in line with news of a change of relationship?
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