A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I'm a 23yr old female n my boyfriend is 26,we decided to go for an HIV test before we can ingage in sex n the results came back negative,we've been having unprotected sex ever since because even when I suggest we use a condom he tells me he struggles to get a size that fits him,this got me worried cause it may mean he's made it a habbit to have unprotected sex before or maybe now while he's dating me.What do I do?
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condom, hiv , unprotected sex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2013): My partner and I don't use condoms, but he is my only sexual partner ever and I'm only his 2nd (the previous was a 13-year marriage). Likelihood of cheating, disease, and weirdness from prior partners is essentially set at zero. If this were not the case, there is no way in Hades that I'd let him get away with "oh, the condom doesn't fit." Of course no guy likes condoms. They don't feel nearly as good for him as a vagina does. But if you guys are even moderately sexually experienced, and haven't tested for all diseases (not just HIV), AND he isn't like 10000% in control of his ejaculation (the last thing you want is, "Oh, whoops, I couldn't pull out in time, guess you're gonna have to go buy the morning after pill!"), AND you aren't 100000% trusting of the fact that he won't cheat on you, don't do it! Just don't! Go buy some, and pull it out in the heat of the moment, lube him up, and sexily put it on for him. If he still resists or takes it off, party's over.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2013): I wouldn't let him lie to me like this if he won't wrap it up I wouldn't let him tap it up! Real Talk there are so many dieases out here it's not funny and AIDS IS NUMBER ONE so don't allow him to feed you this garbage .
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (15 November 2013):
 Tell him it's BS that he can't find a condom that fits. This is such a guy complaint and they are so good at finding ways to coerce their partners into having unsafe sex which transmits more than HIV.
Tell him to sort it out, if he wants to be sexually intimate with you then he'll have to find the right condom.
You will have to be your own health advocate; this boyfriend is more interested in making his penis happy than protecting your health.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/4155390.stm
What do I do, you ask? Tell him to figure out how to find condom that fits or say buh-bye to sex without protection.
Here is a backbone for you =+=+=+=+=+=+= now use it to say "NO!" :)
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, M Proops  +, writes (15 November 2013):
Are you afraid he's cheating on you?He should respect your wishes,it's your body.Was he tested for all the other STI's?
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (14 November 2013):
It's your body, stand up for yourself. Condoms fit, they just suck, but he needs to deal with it.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (14 November 2013):
 I understand his problem.... as I, too, can't find condoms large enough for my generous manhood..... (Why don't the manufacturers make them large enough for us "real men"???)
You might suggest that he do what I do.... and use those plastic bags that are wrapped around your suit when it comes back from the dry cleaner.... They're just about large enough (for me)....
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 November 2013):
 I would tell him NO SEX what so ever without a condom.
Have you ever blown up a condom? If not, then you really should. YOU CAN FIT a whole FOOT or FOREARM into MOST condoms. So for him to say he can't find one "big enough" for him, well that is PURE BULLSHIT.
There is no penis out there so BIG that CAN NOT fit into a condom.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJi6miGk9g4
However, he might not have found one that feels comfortable, specially if he is USED to having NO condom on. Sorry to your dude, but STAYING safe is more important.
http://www.condom-sizes.org/condom-sizes/suggested-condom-width-in-relation-to-penis-circumference
Good luck and DO NOT get sweet talked into not using a condom.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (14 November 2013):
 Are you on birth control?
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A
male
reader, MrBigShot110 +, writes (14 November 2013):
Hmmm, to me it seems there are only two possible reasons for this. The first being he wants to get you pregnant, the second being he doesn't like how sex with a condom feels to him. Have you suggested Trojan Ecstacy, Lifestyles Skyn, or others of that nature which increase pleasure for him? If not, I would suggest those to him. If he wants to be with you, he should be willing to at least try them once. And about struggling to find a size? I'm honestly having a hard time believing that.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (14 November 2013):
 If you suspect he's having sex with other people then please stop having sex with him! Talk to him about this. If you still wish to date someone you can't trust (I don't know your level of suspicion or evidence), you must insist he uses condoms.
A repeat HIV test for you both is also a good idea because it can take 3-6 months for the antibodies to be picked up by the test: so ideally you both should have been tested at least 3 months after your last exposure (sex with anyone else). A test taken too soon can give a false negative result.
Did you both get tested for other STDs?
If he's cheated, I think you should say goodbye to him and get yourself checked. Good luck & take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2013): If a man isn't going to respect your choices then you should say no to sex completely!!
An HIV text can come back negative but if the person has contracted HIV within the last three months then it may not show up. Just google the porn actors who have contracted HIV and they have tests every month. It does not mean you are safe just to pass one test.
You need to respect yourself enough to demand a condom and if the man refuses well then you've got a lucky escape. You are completely right in thinking his previous relationships probably involved unprotected sex, if you are not on the pill then you're also risking pregnancy too.
Saying he can't get one that fits is rubbish, your health should be a priority and men like this should be dumped.
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