A
female
age
36-40,
*ifeyy
writes:Me and my husband are in our fourth year of marriage , blessed with two beautiful girls, but the problem is, up to now i haven't meet any of his family knowing that they are just a minute away...sometimes i kept asking him "why?" but i cant get enough reasons from him.We're not always talking about it, but it always seems to be on my mind... What should i do? is it a big thing for me to worry about, will it effect the marriage? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, wifeyy +, writes (6 October 2008):
wifeyy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys for all ur helped, finally me and my husband have our way to communicate and worked out on it. Thanks for all open-minded thoughts that you shared to me.Again, thank you so much....
A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (2 October 2008):
 A lot of people grow up in broken homes, and sometimes we just are not close to our family because they hurt/harm us more than help us. If you want to get down to the bottom of this, instead of asking him and getting a reason. I say find the phone number to his dad, brothers, and arrange a meeting yourself. then you will find your answers. I would be concerned if he left you alone weeks or months at a time, because then maybe he does have another wife hidden somewhere. But if he has been a great husband, just because this issue is important to you, does not mean that it's important to him. Think of it from his point of view. He has his reasons.
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A
female
reader, wifeyy +, writes (2 October 2008):
wifeyy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys for all those answers, it gave a lot of thoughts to figure out my weird situation
From the start we had a long distance relationship, so when we decided to get a civil wedding it was ok for me that his family were not there due to a hard time for them to travel. He talked to me about his broken family and since then his father and younger brother are the only companion he had.He also has a sister but the two of them are not in good terms. On that time when i asked him to introduce me to his family he said to me that when I come and live to his country he will. Then i had my visa and get to live there im waiting for him to do the first step on it but i think it doesnt come so i asked him again, then he said he can't and its not important. He said to me that his family knows about us. But why he cant introduce me and my children to them personally? Is it because they are all men and it is a bit awkward for them? whenever we talked about it, in the end its just a question without an answer...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2008): i cant beleive some people look at this as not a big deal.youve been married four years! and you have children together.you are a part of his family now,your his wife.do your kids get to see his side of the family? i know that i would be suspicous of what hes hiding.its not just the fact that you havent met them,the real problem is that he wont even give you a reason.if they live that close by and youve not met them yet after that long,then something is up.if hes embaressed by his family then he needs to tell you that.he has to have some reason,and if hes not telling you what the reason is then something is wrong.i think you both need to work on communicating and let him know that this is a big deal and you need answers.
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A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (1 October 2008):
Most people want to run from their inlaws. lol.
Count it as a blessing.
Ask yourself why you want to meet them? Is is because secretly you think he doesn't love or care about you enough to introduce you to them?
Or you think he has a secret life and another family stash somewhere.
I can't believe you didn't talk about this planning the wedding. "Honey..are you're family coming?"
I think you guys have serious communication problems.
The best way to solve this is get off his back and nagging him about it. That will get you no where.
One day, when he is ready he will tell you the reason.
It might be that there is a skeleton and deep dark secret in the family he is so embarrass about that he thinks you'll look at him differently if he told you.
Whatever the case...if everything is fine in your marraige, leave this topic alone until he comes to you and is ready to tell you.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (1 October 2008):
 It is a cause for concern that you have been together for 4 years and you have yet to meet his family... does this include his parents??? Since you cannot get a straight answer out of him, and you know they live a short while away from you.. why dont you visit them?? Perhaps he feels ashamed of his family for some reason?? We all know that you can choose your friends but cannot choose your family, and maybe if he realises that you will accept his family, [warts and all...] he will be more open to discussing and/or visiting them.... Yes, I do believe that your thoughts are centred on this issue so it will affect your relationship in the long run, so take the first step and make contact with his family!
Honeygirl
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A
male
reader, Morp  +, writes (1 October 2008):
 Well, If you have not seen your husbands family and you really want to meet them , did he tell you the reason . I dont know how to put it but maybe he has a reason as not to tell you , maybe he has a reason for it . I guess in time he will tell you or he will let you see his family . If he is a loving and a caring men and you see it i guess you should just give him time .
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A
female
reader, islandgal441  +, writes (1 October 2008):
Im sorry but when i read that warning flags went up in my mind. if you have been married for 4 years but never met your in-laws seem a bit off to me. do you if your in-laws know about you? does he ever mention his parents to you? does he not speak to his parents period? if he still speaks to them and u being his wife havent met them is wrong, u are apart of his family and you shouldnt b hidden from them, it does seem very weird if they live so close but you never met them after that many years
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