A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi Everyone. I'm currently in a relationship but I'm really not sure that I want to be anymore. We have been seeing each other about 5 years in total. We don't live together and have no kids between us. We both have kids from previous relationships however.We split up about a year ago now which was my decision as I felt we were at different points in our lives and want different things from it. He, however, kept contacting me and desperatly wanted to give the relationship another chance so around August we somehow got back together. I'm really not sure how or why.With that time apart though, I had just got on with life and I know deep down that I wouldn't have contacted him to make another go of it.I seem to keep going from week to week not really been happy anymore. The love and attraction I once felt for him have faded and although we do get on really well I feel he's just like a good friend.I really don't know what to do. I've told him how I feel and he just says we'll be fine with time but I'm not sure I can get the feelings back that are needed for both of us to make the relationship a success and not sure if I want to. Has anyone else been in the same situation?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi - many thanks for all your replies. In answer to anonymous - many, many thanks. You sound like you went through exactly the same. I too feel selfish in that I probably don't want to lose him from my life - it seems strange but I don't think I want to be in a relationship either. If we could end things and still be friends that would be great but I don't think that will happen and at the moment, I'm making more and more excuses not to really spend time with him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): Hi I have been in a similar situation. I was in a relationship for 6 years, but for the last 2 years I did not really want to be there. I too felt deep affection for my partner but only as a friend. I wanted out, but did not want to loose this person in my life....a little selfish I know. In the end he left me for someone else, most likely because I did not show him the affection he required. Even though I did not want to be with him, I was greatly hurt by his actions. As a result we are barely friends. My advise is to leave the relationship now. You can not recreate those feelings you once had. You may be able to preserve a friendship if feelings of betrayal do not exist. I wish I left the relationship 2 years before we broke up.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (1 February 2008):
 Sounds like you are just trying to please him. Either you feel sorry for him, or want to make him happy, or you just like someone being fond of you when you are not that fond of them. It could be all three, Idk. Either way, if you are not happy you should leave. He seems to be ignoring your feelings. He should've been asking you after what you said, "Well, do you want to stay together then, if you feel this way?" or something like that, not "oh we'll be fine" (as if what you said was no big deal.) I think that in this situation, someone might end up feeling used, whether it be you or him or both if this keeps up.
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A
female
reader, xdarkendhopex +, writes (1 February 2008):
 Just think about everything that has happened between you two.If it has been enjoyable and something you could see yourself wanting again, stay with him. But if your sick of everything just be friends.
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