A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi, my boyfriend and i have been having sex for about two years now. Its always has worked out perfectly. I just got off my period, so we went to go have sex again after not doing it for i guess like a week, and he couldnt stay hard. Neither of us understood it so we just ignored it and decided to try the next day. It happened again. He stays hard for 3 minutes and then goes soft again. I asked him if he thought i was ugly or something and i got really emotional about it. He cried his eyes out and told me that he loves me and is very attracted to me, he just doesnt know whats going on. When we were talking about it he told me that as soon as he feels like hes getting soft he prays to god that he wont get soft and then it just happens. Someone please tell me what they think is going on. I dont think there is a real problem with him because this just started happening. hes always been able to have sex any other time. how come all of the sudden its not working? :( please help me.
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male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (26 July 2009):
Ok, he's gotten himself so worked up that w/o knowing it he's likely causing the problem. He needs to do a few things, one - he needs to go see someone where he can talk out what he's thinking - he's got to (and I mean GOT TO) get this out, verbally, with someone who can reason it out with him and reassure him that he's 100% normal. At his age, just the fear that you could get pregnant could be enough to make him lose it - if he's worried that he's not pleasing you, same thing...Second, he should see about getting a prescription for Viagra or a similar pill. These drugs work great and after using them for a month or so, he may be back to his old self and no longer need them. However, he needs to go to his doctor and get a check up, I'd want to make sure that he doesn't have a medical condition that's causing this...Be patient... you might want to discuss buying a vib or dildo, so that he can use it on you should his erection fail... toys can be alot of fun, BUT talk to him about this first, so he doesn't take it wrong - you should want to be able to extend your play with him, not switch to a plastic penis.Good luck, reassure him, and don't let him try to cure this himself - if he does remind him that you BOTH deserve a good sex life...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): Hi
Sometimes psychological issues can play havoc with a mans penis, then it becomes a vicious circle beause he is worry so much about loosing the erection, inevitebly it happens. Firstly he needs to rule out any medical reasons, maybe a visit to the GP would be wise. Has he started any different medication? Secondly, Has anything upset him, has there been any trauma in his life lately? are there things on his mind? If you can rule out all these things, then you can start making gentle progress, be patient, and most of all reassuring, im sure he feels a total let down, its not you, he has told you this. Try and help him overcome his fear of loosing his erection, when it happens, kiss him and say its ok, we can try again tomorrow and keep doing that. Good luck, I am sure it will come right.
Ali x
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