A
male
age
41-50,
*ech9ine
writes:Hi.I've been involved with a girl for about 9 months now who is already in a relationship. Things started out as just friends, hanging out at work, going for walks, getting a tea, etc. I knew she had a boyfriend, and didn't think anything would happen.Well, now, I know that we are both in love with each other. I have told her how I feel and she has told me, but, she won't leave her boyfriend, and I won't ask her to.We do kiss when we are together, haven't slept together, but have come close. I am sure within the week, we will sleep together. The thing is, I care so much for her, I don't want her to feel guilty afterwards. We both know that we would be great together. We have a great relationship. How do I deal with this? I want her to leave her boyfriend, but I won't ask her to. I miss her when she's not around and if we're not talking. I do get a little jealous when I know they are together.What do I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): I agree treat her better then he does...we love that...I have a loser as a boyfriend 4 years I'm still with him I wish I had someone to take me away! Go for it! Good luck romance her flowers dinner not to much....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): If she thinks of you as 'just a friend' to talk to and she's not phsically attracted to you then, i think you should forget about her and move on.
However, since she is single. In fact,you are both single. She has a choice too before marriage. If she's more than a friend to you, then, you can try win her over if she's attracted to you too. Treat her better than her boyfriend and make her change her mind. Women like strong and confident men. If you really love her, go for it! YOu never know how she really feels about you unless you find out for yourself, you won't regret. At least you'd know where you stand.
Just speaking from a female's point of view.
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A
male
reader, SamuraiRick  +, writes (19 November 2007):
 If you are hanging out with this girl for nine months and you haven't slept together yet you're considered a "friend" not a lover, even if you have kissed and gotten close. In your mind you want it to be more, but with her it’s not what you think. Her commitment, as frail as it is, is with her boyfriend, not you. You're like the next best thing to her. You're the guy she can talk to, while he's the guy she can fuck. Don't you get it? You are fulfilling a need for her, that’s for sure, but it’s not in the bedroom.
Even if you do end up sleeping with her it’s probably something she would feel she would need to do at least once to keep you as her "friend." Consider yourself lucky if you do get that far. But she's already laid down the rules. Her boyfriend she sleeps with...you she talks to.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): Just leave her alone okay if she hasn't left her bf for you she is more in love with him then she is with you okay she is just being nice to your face about that
And plus if this guy found out what you two are doing think how crushed he would be okay stop being selfish and thinking about yourself move on from this girl and go to a girl who is avaliable
trust me
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A
male
reader, flawedguy127 +, writes (19 November 2007):
I completely relate to you good sir. My answer to you is to have patience. You should tell her that you will wait until she is ready to leave her boyfriend, then lessen the time you spend with her... If you wish to have a longterm relationship with the gal ever, you must endure(some women just take time... lots of time). You see, if you do go through with sleeping with her, and even get married, there is NO earthly way that you two will end up together. No lifetime companionship results from cheating, especially sexual cheating... You will always be suspicious of eachother.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (19 November 2007):
 Hi,
I am a little confused. She is not married? With kids?
You make it sound as though she is tied down to this guy - marriage kids the works and that's why you cant have her.
But you say he is her boyfriend. So what is the problem, why wont she leaver her boyfriend? If she prefers you, then she simply splits up with the boyfriend and starts to go out with the new guy. No divorce, no custody battles .
I get the feeling there is more to it than this, otherwise she simply can just dump him. It sounds like she is using you my good man.
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