A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for almost 8 months in about 2 weeks.I care for him incredibly but we still haven't said those 3 words yet. I'm not one for rushing things and I enjoy taking things slow, but it does worry me and makes me wonder if he does or ever will. He was in a serious relationship before me and his ex cheated on him, so I think that might be something to do with it. Do I be patient and wait? Or come out and ask him? I'm afraid of saying it first because of rejection, I've never said it before or felt it before but I feel it for him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe's absolutely amazing to me. Really, which I guess is way I should be patient and understanding. He does little things that are sweet & make me happy & it really just to great to me! I heard from a friend that actions speak louder than words.
I dont agree with the first response that I got. How he cant be my boyfriend if he doesnt love me & that its just about sex. If it was just about sex we wouldnt have done so much together already and he would say half the other things he says to me and he wouldnt treat me so good.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2008): Be patient and wait.
Also, some people never say those three little words and are not demonstrative. It is the way he treats you that counts most and how happy you feel when you are with him.
You could try gently to get him to open up about how he felt after his ex, which might increase your understanding. He could be afraid that it might happen again, in which case he needs time.
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A
female
reader, plymonth  +, writes (5 November 2008):
I don't agree with the previous post. My boyfriend and I went through a similar thing. We were both very cautious and it took him also 8 months to tell me he loved me. He said he was worried he would say it too soon. Although I was dying to hear it, I didn't ask. If you FEEL that he loves you, you don't have to ask. The words will come in time. However, if it really bothers you, do ask. I'm pretty sure he'll say yes, it'll just lose the moment... ;)
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A
female
reader, Cherriepie +, writes (5 November 2008):
 He cant be your boyfriend if he hasnt said those three words. He is just the guy you are sleeping with and like. I guess he just likes you...what do you think?
Why are you afraid to say the words to him? If you say it to him he might return the words.
If he doesnt return the words then you will know what he is really about. Eight months is a long time never to say those words. If he doesnt know how to say it in 8 months the relationship is all about sex... DUH!
I you feel it then say it... stop playing chicken with him. Take it from there... His reaction will tell you all you need to know.
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