A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my girlfriend for 2 years now and we've been fighting nearly everyday for the past few months. We have sat down and talked about this and the arguments stopped for about a week. Now it's the same old arguments. Heres the tricky part, she cheated on me the first couple of weeks we were dating and i didn't find out untill we were together a couple of months. She said it was a mistake and she stopped because she didn't want me to leave her so she never did it again. But i found out she sexted 2 or 3 other people till about 5 or 6 months after we were together. Now i'm having a hard time trusting her even though shes been completely faithfull to me for over a year. I know our fighting has a lot to do with my lack of trust in her. Should i move on or what should i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2012): What triggered these fights? If you guys have been great for a year or more now, you shouldn't let it dictate how you feel about her. It sounds like in the beginning she didn't take you very seriously, and that has to hurt really bad, but it sounds like she's learned from her mistakes. However, if she ever made the mistake again, don't hesitate to dump her sorry a**, and make this clear to her. It sounds like you might need counseling (don't all couples?), or just sit down and talk again. That really helps me when I get upset over things my fiance' has done in the past. He never cheated that I know of, but he did a lot of hurtful things. I know I drive him crazy talking about our past sometimes, but he loves me so he always reassures me that he loves me and that things have changed. If you get to the point that you constantly need that reassurance, try getting her to write a letter, that way you can always go back and read it when you're feeling unsure. Good luck!
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 October 2012):
 she cheated early on in the relationship..and she sexted as well... both are bad.
but both were a while back.
IF you are fighting because in a year she's done nothing to cause you not to trust her, then this is old trust issues but I can tell you that you will never totally trust her...
if you still can't find the trust (and I understand that totally) then I think you need to consider walking away.
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A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo  +, writes (22 October 2012):
 I understand why you have trust problems, most people would when they feel their trust has been broken.
But a relationship without trust is nothing and you have a big choice to make.
You either can't forgive her, which means leaving her, either for good or to sort out these issues alone.
Or you need to forgive her and forget the past and move on.
Up to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2012): To be honest she cheated on you, then cheated on you again by sexting. Its enough to tell you that she 'is not' to be trusted. It will be too rocky and stressful if you stay with her.
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A
male
reader, Hennessy1989 +, writes (22 October 2012):
 A relationship without trust just won't work, tell her straight that you give her all of your trust, but I'd it happens again the relationship is over, you've got to be prepared to walk away from this should it happen again
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