A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship with a guy for 10 months now. In the beginning everything was going great. He seemed really into me and we were getting on so well. He asked me to be his girlfriend after about 4 months of dating, sex and spending nearly every day together. I was pretty happy and said yes of course but then he asked me to keep it a secret just between us for a while. I knew he wasnt seeing anyone else because we spent everyday and night together but i wasnt exactly sure what his reasoning was. It didnt bother me massively because all my friends were away at university and didnt know we had even been dating. Anyway, 10 months later we are still together yet he refuses to tell anyone about me and if anyone asks if we are more than friends he denies it straight away. I dont understand why! I have confronted him about it several times and expressed how much it is affecting me but he just reassures me he is totally 100% in love with me and knows i am the one he wants to be with. He never seems to have a reason as to why i remain a secret to his friends and family. Is he ashamed of me? Does he not think our relationship will last? Is he just stringing me along until something better comes along? Does he have serious commitment issues? Or is he just embarrassed of me? Help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2013): Are you *positive* he doesn't have a girlfriend away at college or something?I don't mean to worry you, but the fact that he hides you from his family and friends is NOT normal.The only partner of mine whose family and friends I hadn't met after a few months of dating was married.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (16 September 2013):
 umm no I'd NOT be tolerating being a "dirty little secret"
what the clincher for me would be is the fact that when ASKED he DENIES you.
I would:
a. stop going to his place ever
b. stop giving him sex
c. if you do his cleaning or his laundry or his shopping stop
d. if you pay for him in any way STOP
e. tell him WHY and ask him "WHY am I a dirty secret?"
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2013): You have been together for 10 months and he is still keeping you a secret?
I'm sorry, but that isn't good, and you should put up with it, nor his lame excuses for not showing you off to family and friends.
I don't know why he is doing this, but there is no excuse.
You should let him go, and find someone who is worthy of you, someone who will show you off to the world.
Good Luck....Be Happy!!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (16 September 2013):
 You ask: ".... Is he ashamed of me? ..."
I reckon: "Nope... he's not ashamed of you. BUT, he IS concerned that his wife - or "other" girlfriend - might find out if the two of you became more "open" and "public"....
Sorry to burst your bubble....
Good luck....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2013): Something is up and I would err to the side of guarding my heart.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2013): The answer to your questions are all Possibly YES.
Because his keeping you like a dirty little secret. No one has to know? Come on. I'm Not buying that. I hope you don't continue buying that. Because it is exactly what you think it is.
A guy whose into you will be so proud to the world that your his gf. and not hide about it. You know it, dear. Your just in Love. But he ain't worth it. The guy ain't worth it. I think you should change your bf. Look for someone who will be proud to be with you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2013): My guess would be that he wouldn't want it to get back to his parents possibly?
However not even giving you a REASON to a fairly pressing valid question, that you've expressed concerns you, is bang out of order... 10 months isn't THAT long but you deserve to know the answer-...
it's important to you, and he can't just expect you to blindly trust him?? It's not on sorry and I would be fuming!... Actions speak louder than words and he doesn't seem that trustworthy... There's something he's not telling you and it can't go on... It's your basic right and if you don't get the answer you're happy with, then say goodbye, because the relationship just probably isn't what you think it is.
Good luck, and take care xxx
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