A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Please don't judge me on this but i really need your help,for a while now me and 2 of my friends hve been wanting to try and smoke weed just once and not even a whole joing just to see what its like. so i spoke to one of my really close friend who we knew does it and he gt us sme, any way it all went to plan and we got it off him, and we went to the place we decided to go so hat we were out of sight, but my mates boyfriend found out and freaked he yelled at all of us and looked like he wanted to kill us, he took teh stuff off us and threw it in th river, and then freaked out at me because i was the one who'd got it, any way i told the firend who'd given it to us and he freaked out n because i was really upset he comforted me. Whe i got to school on monday everyone knew and was making my life hell and then they started picking on the guy who gave it to us. None of them will leave off him even though its not his fault and he wont even let me apologise as most of his friends have turned on him.Nothing i can do can mke things better everyones forgiven my 2 other friends but not me and him . what can i do help please! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2008): Babes,
I am fully aware you feel very guilty and feel that you have gotten your friend into trouble. But his weed usage, and the fact that he gave it to you is really his problem and there is little that you can do. He's a big boy, he can take care of himself. But giving weed to a friend is seen as "dealing" and is a crime in many parts of the world. Be happy that there are no adults involved, and realise that if people at school were really angry then they would turn him into the authorities. He makes his mistakes, and chooses to live the life he dose, it is not your place to defend him or try to protect him from people who disagree with the influence he has on people. If he didn't give you the drugs, where would you have got them from? In helping you he was also encouraging you, and that was his responsibility and his choice.
Forget about it. School is full of drama, it a little while there will be something else to talk about and people will forget all about you and your friend. Take care, blessings.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all teh advice. i jujst thought i'd say to let people know that it was my idea to get the weed and the friend [say James] i got it off would only give it to m if i was responible he wouldnt let anything happen to me. and my other friends really didnt want me to do this.
Also its been nearly 3 weeks and people are still giving me n james grief....
they justwont leave of.
What can i do?!
thanks xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2008): Agree with Diovan. Very good sound advice. Disagree completely with the 56 year old Mom below me. What this young poster needed to hear was that her friends at school are discerning what constitutes a good friend, in regards to her actions. Plainly some of the kids that were angry with her, feel she did not do what was best for the other friends, she was supplrying the dope to. As far as I'm concerned, friends should be responsible, they should be loyal, they should want what’s best for their friends. That's my final say on that.
Now to you, Mom..the 56 year old. You seem to understand what drugs are all about. Here's my story: My youngest son is 17 years old and in the last 1 1/2 years, he has changed a startling 100%. He does not care for his hygiene, he does not care about his family, nor his school academics (he was honor roll) but he loves and adores his friends. Here we had a wonderfully good teenager, who has turned into a very disrespectful person, not just with teachers, but also with me, his sister, his older brother. He does this by name-calling, throwing chairs, breaking doors down, and coming and going as he pleases, with no accountability for where he's been or what he doing. He has stolen money from all of us, numerous times.
I come from a home background where there was values, boundaries and respect for family was important. I consider myself a damned good mom and have been the sole provider of morals, education, material needs, and nurturing, in my family. (By the way, I have 2 older adult children who are drug-free) I feel deep pain and hurt that my youngest child is fighting all my efforts, in this way. Our whole family is being held by this drug addiction and we are in crisis, here. As his Mom, I am feeling terrified for him, but I am concious that I can not let him rule the house. I find myself emotionally exhausted and physically worried about his future and the choices he's making. After much family counseling and talking to drug counselors, I still feel lost in how to proceed.
So--how did he get to this point. He tried weed one night with a couple of friends. They talked him into it. And by the way, these friends have nothing to do with him anymore. So he moved onto another crowd...one that supplies him with the drugs. I have found drugs such as pot, acid and ectasy stashed inside my home. I have found bongs, homemade pipe, assorted sizes of baggies, weigh scales and a lot of other, hidden in my home. My son is addicted to drugs...is there any hope for him? What advice can you offer me?
My advice to this young girl was harsh. You darned right it was. But she needs to learn right now, how close she possibly could of came to destroying another person's future by saying 'let's have some fun'. She needs to know that what she did was very irresponsible. Sorry, your words doesn't wash with me. And excuse me , did you call me irresponsible??
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2008): There are a lot of issues surrounding drugs, and I do not agree with the views put forward about "gateway drugs". However, drugs, alcohol, sex and cigarettes are definitely not for children. The effects of drugs, and yes, cigarettes, alcohol, weed, ecstasy, acid.. these are all drugs are very big on children. Your bodies are not fully grown, neither are your brains. Medical research definitely shows evidence that weed smoking on children can damage development in the brain. I suggest you research more about drugs of all kinds, find out the damage the may cause, and why adults enjoy them. It is stupid just to "try" something, without knowing all about it first. You were lucky to have such a good friend, and your lucky you go to a school where children take such things seriously. These people aren't trying to bully you, they are frightened that you could be so stupid, and they are anger that you friend gave you some in encouragement. You are not adults, to do what adults do is very damaging. Even medicine's for adults and children are given at different strengths. What may be enjoyable for us, could cause harm to you.
Just keep apologising, say you learnt your lesson and your glad to have such sensible friends. Your friend needs to give up, it may cause him difficulties in the future. The later you start adult hobbies, the longer life span you will have.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2008): I'm really shocked at people's reactions to your problem- particularly 'Irish49', you are a mother yet you speak in that way to a very worried and unhappy young teenager?! I find this appallingly irresponsible.
I am 56 and a mother of 2 myself, I've always been open and honest to my children, and told them what drink and drugs does to you, how they can be fun and how they can be trouble. This attitude stops incidents like this- people sneaking behind their parents back to buy drugs of a dodgy source, and the people then feeling guilty and alienated. And yes believe it or not drugs can be fun! It's very true they can cause massive problems, which is why the best approach is for people to be open, feel they can ask questions about drugs without being judged and then either take them in a safe way, or their curiosity may even be satisfied and they will not even want to try them anymore!
I have taken lots of different drugs in my time and had some amazing life changing, and enriching experiences with them. I have also had negative experiences on them too, I'm not encouraging using, just accepting it can be fun and people will want to try it and may enjoy them in moderation. When my son told me he was smoking weed, i told him the problems and the advantages, when he said he was thinking of taking acid i did the same. After he'd had acid he told me all about the positive experiences he had on it (I'm not encouraging this to everyone though, acid is not right for everyone)and I took him round the town I grew up in and showed him where I'd had trips and what I'd seen, we had a connecting and fantastic conversation and I feel closer to him for it. He is a teacher by the way, and 'successful' in your eyes too I imagine, he's happy in his life, he has a stable relationship too.
Sorry I'm not really helping with the original persons problem. I don't think you should worry what others think, it's sad everyone is being so closed minded and mean to you. I'm sure it will blow over soon enough- school gossip always does. If you are curious about cannabis or other drugs then check out wwww.urban75.com
Hope that was of some interest to someone!
xxxx
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female
reader, alwaysndforever  +, writes (29 September 2008):
it sounds like ur school is no fun at all and wont admidt to being curious about weed. in a few years it will probably be weird to not have tried it - and ur friends boyfriend shud not have flipped out. he has no bussiness telling you what to do at all, if he was unahppy with her choice then he could have talked to her...everyone who is bothering you about this needs to grow up and find something else to worry about. as soon as something new happens they will forget about this cuz its not a big deal at all, just be careful if u do decide to smoke agan and for now wait it outt ull totally be fine
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2008): Don't get why all people are so uptied about weed. Alcohol is a drug that kills people in every country everyday and we don't see middle aged people getting all huffy about it!
Stay cool girl. Apologize once and then save your pride. Demonizing drugs is what is wrong with the world. If you have no education and no experience and no realistic and pervasive information on the subject you will end up with a whole bunch of dangerous halftruths that stupid people will try to tell you. Like.. It is EVIL dont do it. Seriously, don't do drugs, but what the hell.. if you have to do drugs there is no better choice than weed. Tons of addictions can derails your life.. internet porn, washing your hands, flipping light switches...
People get real!! Lets help the young people out there.. they need to know what the world is like. In detail and the truth..
Don't get yourself down! Lay low, let it blow over. People who turn on you now are not friends at all.. Friends are people that will try to help you, empathize with you and be right by your side.
Good Luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2008): I think there really is nothing you can do. Except to apologize and tell these people you will never do this again and that is...dragging your mates into situations where drugs are involved. Do you understand why these people at school are angry with you? I sincerely hope you do understand this whole circumstance from the other's people's point of view. I am going to say something here, that many people may disagree with, but I don't care. Weed seems to be an 'accepted' drug of choice in many adolescent social circles. However, it can lead to many, many future problems for young folks. I know, I have seen it happen firsthand to people, I love very much.
You were the one who supplied the dope, you found a way to get it. You are responsible and the friends who are angry... are viewing you as someone who showed pretty much some self-involved, evil intent on her part. Frankly, these friends who are pissed off at you, are likely the 'best' friends a person who was being as irresponsible as you were...can have. I would take them all aside and tell them, you made a stupid boneheaded mistake and you will never think of doing any weed again. And if you aren't so inclined to lack self-respect for yourself and do it...you will not drag other friends into your situations where you are making bad decisions about your life.. Plain and simple
So now that you know that this pain and hurt you feel, has all been self-inflicted by you...you need to do a reality check here, girl and never forget how 'your actions' got yourself in hot water. A lot of young folks are taught by their families, that dope/weed/drugs is something they need to stay away from. Plainly the kids at school who are angry at you...are anti drugs. I am too. I view weed as a 'gateway' drug. I have a close family member, who smoked weed with a few friends, who talked him into trying it. He thought it would 'be fun' to try it once. He is now failing academically, in his last year of school, he parties every weekend at raves, where he is ingesting ectasy (E) and acid. He is not the bright, ambitious, lively happy person he used to be. He is a mess...he, has suffered overdoses, he's thin, unhealthy and he has suffers from depression and withdrawls, on many occasions. His whole demeanor has changed, he's edgy, he's extremely self-involved, has no respect for himself and his biggest ambition is life....to 'sell this stuff'..to other kids. His moral and ethical attitudes have been severely blunted. He seems to not know right from wrong, anymore.
This was a kid who one year ago, was an high honor roll student, a computer elecronics whiz, who had chosen a fine University to go to..once high school was over. His life path was looking very promising. Now his folks worry about whether he will survive, to see another day. His family have had countless interventions, they have tried to get im into addiction counseling and you know what he does when they try this...he laughs at them and tells his heartbroken parents, 'how stupid they are'. So I say to a lot of young folks who do dope, some of you may survive this and carry on in life and some won't stand a chance. So don't scoff and think for one minute that weed is harmless.....it's not.
As for the friend who gave you the weed...in my books he was in effect--a dealer. And people like that are dangerous and a scourge on society. Apologize to your friends at school and make a promise, that you learned a hard life lesson from all this. Use some integrity and self-respect for how you conduct yourself in life. Your friends will take note of that and it shows that you have the courage to be a good kid, who thinks of others and not just what she wants. Good luck, sweety and never, ever do dope again.
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A
male
reader, DrHelp +, writes (28 September 2008):
What I think you should do is stop worrying and read on.
A) Ignor what people are saying NO MATTER WHAT.
B) Never mention it again. If people come along and say shit about it then just go that was a while ago.. bit late aint ya?
C)I suggest you do everything you can to show your against drugs as well..... It will look good in the long run as it will show you experimented with some 'soft' drug and that you shouldnt do it ever again... Look at all the people in politics and government who when asked have you ever taken drugs and they say yes and make up some BULL SHIT reason they did or didnt do something. look where they are now but you can say yes i experimented with them and i enjoyed it but i realised it was very bad and i dont want to do it again.
D) always use a condom, dont take drugs, stay in school & most of all dont drink too much alcohol as it make yu really ill and gives you a high but it only lasts a few hours and brings days or years of pain!
Hope This Helps.
Need more info just send me a message..
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A
female
reader, Dear Danielle +, writes (28 September 2008):
 Really i smoked normal and once a guy asked me to try weed so i did it was awful and i was really sick after wards + no1 was aloud near me after the guy spread all across were i lived and at school i gave it up i had to move and move school it all went wrong
Mabey you can sort this out but u shouldnt hav done it in the 1st place its YUK
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust to Clarify we didnt get a chance to smoke it and my two friends boyfriends made them promise never to smoke it so me and my mate are the only ones who everyone hates
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