A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey i found out my husband has beeb texting a coworker female loads, he says it was just about work stuff as he has just got a new job and doesnt know how to do everything. So he says he was asking her how to do work stuff, and he said sometimes she just text asking what he is up to, she is married aswell. I asked him to stop texting her, and he says he has he said he valued my feelings over her, and i also told him to show me the next text she sends and he showed me it, it seemed fine, but i still keep having doubts. i don't think hes been physical as he never goes anywhere apart from his work, but i still have doubts. hould i be worried? I think maybe she was flirting with him, or he was flirting with her. Our relationship is fine we have sex and stuff but i dunno.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): Hi,
I'm sorry to hear what has happened to you. The same thing happened to me last July. I actually saw text messages that were very flirty. I confronted my husband of 23 years. He said it was nothing but, did confess to kissing her, once. He sees now. I think, how this was bad and the hurt he caused me. He shares his e-mails and phone with me. He told her they needed to keep it professional(they still work together,and he travels out of town to work every week). She seemed Very bothered by this and wrote a few texts even asked him to lunch. She does't like his not responding to her and told him in a nasty way ,I just have to avoid you--no talking etc.
My husband is a wonderful man and father. We love each other deeply. I have always trusted him. But, I know how you feel. Most of the time I am trusting but, then all of a sudden I get the doughts also. I start thinking about them ggoing underground or all the ways (with IM and all the other modes of secretly communicating )they could easily hide this.
I know how hard this is for you. I m still working this out myself. But, I keep going back to my thoughts:
Do we love each other and is he committed and open with me --yes. Does he understand how I feel---yes Then , I have to trust to make it work. And, when I get those doubtful feelings I need him to reassure me and show me how much he loves me. Again it is hard sometimes but, this is what i,m trying to do. BELIEVE and BE HAPPY
Good luck with everything.
A
female
reader, hello kitty 101  +, writes (29 September 2008):
 flirting is human nature most people do it to make the feel good sometimes men and women do it to see if they are pretty or cute people are going to flirt no matter what i do my boyfriend does and we both get mad about the other doing but i know and the end of the day hes coming home to me and im coming home to him i trust that his not going to cheat on me and he does the same without trust you have nothing as long as he does not touch you have nothing to worry about i promise you that
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2008): Hi! If she is also married, why not leave it a week or so then suggest you go on a double date with them? Then you can look for signals like if they are uncomfortable. You can also try to suss out how happy she is in her own marriage and show her your husband is YOUR man! Good luck and try not to worry. x
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A
female
reader, breathless +, writes (28 September 2008):
i would keep an eye on this something not quite right here,why the txting why not phone calls if its work related
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2008): So how do you explain the filing system with a single text?
Its obvious such information would require a phone conversation. and out of work hours?
Nope it don't add up.
I think maybe you caught the start of something. But stopped it? probably not. Now it will go underground.
Good luck
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