A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok,, I'm having a bit of a problem. Theres this girl I like and I think she does me, thing is, I can't bring myself to ask her out, or even ask for her number, I do talk to her quite a bit and I really believe that shes meant for me.Now, 2 things I know, I have very little self esteem and my confidence isn't very good(though is getting better) and I may only have 1 more chance with her(gonna be on holiay for 2 weeks after monday)So I go for broke Monday (if shes at work) or I can do it during my holiday (it requires me just to go into her workplace, nothing major)any help?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk, an update, she wasnt in work today(thought she may not be) so I'm either gonna have to go in especailly(its in the middle of a Mall so its not as if I cant make up an excuse tbh) or wait til I'm back at work
What you reckon?
A
female
reader, lexy79 +, writes (29 September 2008):
 Hard to say with the little detail you've provided here but my main piece of advice regardless would be - don't rush it! You're only going on holiday for two weeks! Is it likely she will meet someone fall in love and stop seeing you in that space of time? Unlikely, and if she does, then clearly she didn't feel the same way about you.
Do what comes natural, if the moment presents itself to you next time you see her, ask her then, but don't feel pressured to do it before your holiday.
Also , when you do go for it, no need to make a big deal out of it. For example - just in conversation casually mention a film you were thinking of going to see, mention someone you know had seen it and said it was really good, wait and see if she expresses any interest in it (if she really does like you, she will know what you are angling for and will respond positively about the film)then you can drop it casual as hell 'come and see it with me if you like?' delivered with a cheeky grin. Can't fail!
Also, when it comes to confidence and self esteem, something that has always served me well is 'fake it till you make it' Maybe its not the healthiest psychological advice but I find that pretending to be confident (even when you're shitting it inside) makes you *appear* confident and confidence is the sexiest thing in anyone. Keep your insecurities to yourself and for your close friends only, don't show them to the girl you are trying to attract - not at least until you have an established relationship and even then I would be careful about drawing attention to your *perceived* flaws and insecurities. Fake it till you make it!! Go for it!
Good luck :)
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A
male
reader, Chippymunk  +, writes (28 September 2008):
 Hi, I was in a very similar situation as you a few weeks ago. We spoke at work fine but when it came down to asking for her # or something, I completely phased out. If you're too scared and not in a rush, then take your time to build up your confidence first. If you must get her # quickly, you can try to find something she's good at and say something like, "hey, i'm going on holiday for 2 weeks, is it ok if I contacted you in case I need help with _____? (the thing she's knowledgeable at) I completely know nothing about _____ and may need advice while i'm away." If she is indeed interested in you, then maybe call her up while on your trip to ask for help (whether you need it or not) and thank her for it, then casually ask her out (when you get back). Or you can always go for broke on Monday and hope for the best =)
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A
female
reader, x~Optimistic_Help~x +, writes (28 September 2008):
If you are shy about asking her then dont do it face to face.
try to think of a romantic/ Original way to ask her out that doesnt involve you speaking the words.... Im sure you making such an effort will win her heart, especially if she does already like you... as it will show her how much you like her as you are willing to go to greater lengths to get her.
Good luck =] x
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