A
female
age
30-35,
*weety Pie
writes:Ok well last night me and a couple of friends arranged a camp out/party sort of thing. A lot of people came for the party bit, but in the end only 5 of us camped out. Now a guy I know was one of the ones that camped out, but he only arrived at 11.30 because of work. Only me and another of the 5 had met him before. I like this guy, and he supposedly likes me, and we've been going out on dates and getting with each other, but I dont see the point in going out as hes going to Uni soon, which is a shame because I do like him :(Anyway that night he was totally sober because of driving and stuff and the rest of us were drunk, but had sobered up a bit when he came. So me and him were wandering by the tent and we kissed and he said lots of nice things about me. Then we went back to the tent, and the other 3 had crammed into one compartment, so us 2 shared the other one, and we kissed again and snuggled up. Anyway eventually the other 3 all came into out compartment because it was freezing, and so I was layed by the tent wall, then the guy, and then my best friend. The others were at the top or bottom. Anyway my best mate was proper snuggling up to her, and he had his arm around her. So I was a bit confused why she and he would do this, with me right there, I mean he was holding my hand too, but when I realised he was also with her then I dropped it. When we were going to sleep, he rolled over with his back to me, and his arms right round her, and I think they were holding hands. So I was really upset at this, so I woke my other friend, whos a guy, and we went for a walk at like 4am to have a chat. Then when we got back we went in a different compartment. I was really upset, I mean she was tipsey, yes, but then she was sorta initiating it. Im not particularly mad at her, I know shes boy mad, and perhaps they were just keeping warm. I dont know! But they were acting very couplish.Anyway the next morning they woke up together, im not sure if they kissed, but I doubt it. When the other 3 went back to pick up some tent pieces, me and him were left alone by the car, and he gave me a hug, but he was sort of wrapping his arms around me, so I was like sooo confused! So I just let it happen, then we dropped my best mate home, and he didnt hug her goodbye, but he did me, but then hes known me for years and only just met her. It did look as though she was hoping for a hug. Now I dont know if she likes him.... because if she does, we have a problem.Tbh he has every right to do that with another girl, we're not in a relationship, but I would have thought he could have had the decency not to do it in front of my face! And not with my best mate. Also he doesnt seem like a player to me... and i've known him a long time. But I do feel betrayed.Any advice? thanks :) xx
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female
reader, Sweety Pie +, writes (13 September 2009):
Sweety Pie is verified as being by the original poster of the question I asked her, and she denighed it, saying she was keeping warm, and that I never said I liked him...
so I dont know. Am I in the wrong? x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009): He might not seem like the player type to you, but he is still a male. I know from personal experience and from being around friends and associates that guys like him will take any type of affection from anywhere. Perhaps he knew your best mate was a bit drunk, and her showing some signs of affection to him, was enough for him to get as close as possible. Obviously his feelings for you werent enough to keep him from being a bit too intimate with her. But like you said you were not in a relationship with him. So you really cannot allow this to affect a friendship, but at the same time you might not want to get involved with this person intimately. Alcohol is never an excuse for anything. People choose to drink, and because of that when they drink too much to where they cannot control themselves for remember what happens they are still responcible. Using alcohol as an excuse is a dark path to follow.
Keep your friendship, but perhaps you should not try to mature your relationship into anything more serious than that. You deserve to find someone who is into you, and not just anyone who will show them some affection. Remember when you feel this way and you start to doubt and question, that is a clear indication that there are problems already, and you should never settle. But remember this only my advice and you are responcible for your own actions.
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