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male
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anonymous
writes: Dear cupid, please help me. Im 16 and im best friends with a girl who is 15. I know this will sounds really stupid but i haven't talked to her at all for a few weeks now. I go to a different school than her so i don't see her there. Does this mean that she really isn't a best friend? how can i start talking to her again? I might sound like im obbessed with her but its just i really care for her.
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female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (14 March 2006):
 True friends have the amazing ability to not see each other for ages and simply pick up where they left off!
I would just send her a text or an email, really casual and say "hi, long time, no see - let me know when you are free and we can catch a movie"
Then see what she replies. Maybe she has just been really busy or sick or tired. Sometimes I don't see or talk to my best friend for a fortnight if we are both busy at work, catching up with other mates or family or just get to the weekend and want a quiet one.
I would do that and then see where things lie. See what she says.
Good luck - let us know what happens.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2006): You know, I don't get this whole "best friend" thing. I used to have a 'best friend' back when I was about 9 or 10. I didn't really know what a 'best friend' was. I thought it was someone who I hang out with a lot, and had a lot in common.
Nowadays, I hear that same 'best friend' tell me about his best friend (some other guy), etc. Then I wonder about that, because that same person doesn't say any deep things with his 'best friend', yet he always tell me about his thoughts, etc, etc. Then I think about my other friends such as Al, Jo, Be, and Gr, and then my gf, and other people like La and Tu - we all share things with each other in times of sadness, in times of happiness, in times of blah.
So what makes a 'best friend' - since everywhere we go and every media we see and hear from, there are always the 'best friend' who slept with my wife, or took away my boyfriend, or did this and that, etc.
Anyway, now back on topic... (lecturing shamefullness, me, I agree)
I have four guys whom I trust my mind to, and I've known them from 11 to 16 years each. They are more than 'best friends' - indeed, they are more than 'friends', as the word "friends" is such an obselete and primitive word to describe my relationship with them. Such as Al, I catch him on MSN once or twice a week, sometimes, I don't even see him for one or two months. Jo, I email him once every 2 or 3 weeks, and see him once (for 2 weeks in the winter) a year, and every time he comes back, it's like just yesterday he left and went to Ottawa - pick up where we left off.
Etc...
Pretty much, it depends on HOW YOU refer a 'best friend' as your 'best friend'.
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