A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I went through a very tough few months where he was very verbally abusive. We have made it through those times and are moving forward, I am doing so with caution. However, I can not shake the empty feeling that I have inside. I freak out at the smallest comments or indication of unnecessary mistrust on his part (he has serious trust issues for no reason with me, I have never done anything to hurt him or to anyone I have dated in the past). If he asks me a question three times about my activities, when I've already answered him, it is as though a chemical reaction happens in my brain and I feel like I could spit acid. I have turned into a bitter, anxious, b*tch. I hate myself.I have lost my sex drive and that frustrates him, even though I have explained to him that I need time to get back to who I was when we started dating and before he became a monster for a few months. He just doesn't seem to understand that. Am I crazy for being unable to rebound quickly? The things he has said to me resonate in my mind and I can not push them away; things that you do not even see on movies about verbally abusive partners. I feel no sense of happiness and become unnecessarily anxious in what should be normal situations - walking down the street, being in a room where there is another man, missing a phone call from him, missing the metro home from work......can the damage ever be reversed?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, mister.m  +, writes (7 July 2009):
 Being open and direct is key. Discuss your problems with him and say how you feel.You can't just hide your pain and move on like nothing happended, it tears you apart.
When he's not receptive to your emotions, it's best to leave him.
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