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female
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*weetrhi
writes: Hi, I have met this guy on the net and we talk on the phone every day and send pics of each other. It's only been happening about a month this friendship and he lives say 5 hours or so away from me. We have so hit it off; we want to get married and talk about our future together. He has told his family about me and wants his brother to be his best man. I haven't told my parents cause they hate me meeting guys on the net. And we are so in love we just have to be together. We have never felt like this with anyone else before. His birthday is Feb 13 and mine is March 13. We have so much love for each other it's not funny! We have even talked about how many kids we want and when the wedding is. We have already told his parents we are engaged, we just haven't been together to get the rings. What to do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2005): Consider this statement: We have told his parents that we are engaged but haven't been together to get the rings.Fact is, you have never been together, have you?Your proper relationship only begins with meeting face to face. And as you sound very young, and he lives five hours away, you may well decide to find somebody that you can have a real relationship with . This is not a real relationship. In a real relationship there is no rush to get married, either.You need to be more realistic instead of getting carried away and risk being labelled as foolish and immature.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2005): Anything is possible but until you see someone face-to-face, I don't think you can truthfully say that you have fallen in love. Personally, I don't believe in internet love, but I'm sure that there are many happy couples that will argue otherwise. I take this position because the internet is a very, very impersonal, detached medium of communication. Over the internet, there is a greater possibility for deceit and behavior that one would otherwise not take part in. It's easy for someone to flirt with someone in an overtly sexual or forward manner. About having to see someone to fall in love, an idealist would agree with you and say it is possible, but I'd have to be a realist and say it isn't. You could become emotionally attached to the person, but to fall in love requires a physical aspect and that cannot truly be accomplished over the internet. This is, of course, just my opinion, and you're sure to find just as many people that disagree with me as those who agree. A few questions I have for you. You state you have exchanged pictures...how do you know if the person you are really talking to are all that they say they are..how do you know you aren`t talking to some 50 year old guy who is sending you his nephew`s picture? Perhaps you should think about seeing him on a webcam, next. See WHO he really is. It's likely he is who he says he is..but..suggest a webcam! I also think that you should be extremely careful until you know for absolutely sure who he is and you have met face to face, in a safe place. The sooner the better. Please remember, technology doesn't always tell the truth. Guard your heart until you meet...it's good to remain neutral and not have any big expectations. When you finally, meet him in person..you will know. But until then, proceed with caution.
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A
female
reader, Mom_forever +, writes (9 August 2005):
Dear Sweetrhi,
Take my advise talk alot more on the computer and phone before you met. After you met take your time getting to know each other and the most important thing is DON"T RUSH. I wish I would have taken it alot slower and maybe I wouldn't be where I am now. I am a 24 I met my husband on the net about 5 years ago. We talked on the computer for maybe or 9 months and than met each other. After met I was engaged and than married and had a child ect. Things went way to fast and now we are on the closer side of a divorce. Just take your time and enjoy each other. Remember everything will happen in the right time. Good luck
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A
male
reader, harshbutfair  +, writes (9 August 2005):
 This is fantasy! Pure fantasy! You ask: "What do do?". Meet this man. See if you get on. Take things from there.
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A
female
reader, womanlyglory +, writes (9 August 2005):
First of all ... slow down! You need to date first. I met my fiancee on the internet too and it is exciting. And we lived in different states. I was from PA and now I live with him in OH. But what you don't understand is that you need to date for at least a year to get to know his personality better. Even if you see eachother at least once a month. And if he loves you enough to be faithful in between time when you're not with him there's ways of knowing if you communicate constant on the internet. It has it way of reward.
Everything is so sugar coated right now. You haven't even met yet. Did you know that people in a relationship change with the seasons. You could start out totally in love in the spring and then totally can't stand him in the winter. Peoples chemistries change and the seasons can effect the way they handle different situations. You don't know where this could lead. Did you see him on webcam? Do you talk with him on the phone?
Use some wisdom about this because this is how people turn up missing or get themselves in a terrible situation they can't get out of. Make sure you get to know his attitude the way he deals with things when he get angry, make sure he's not a player, or someone who is pretending just to flatter you. Communicate with your parents. Even though this guy could be your soulmate, you always need a back up plan.
I wish you the best!
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A
reader, becky05 +, writes (9 August 2005):
What age are you? you sound about 13.
Get a grip, you have never even met this man, for all you know, everything he has told you about himself may be a pack of lies.
Also, your relationship cant be so serios if you are still afraid to tell your mum and dad.
Meet this man face to face and spend a lot of time together before you even think of getting married to him!
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