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female
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*msocute01
writes: Ok me and this guy have been dating on and off for almost 5 years now. He lives 30 mins. aways from me, so it hard for us to see each other, but I knew that getting into this. Now the times he does see me, he acts as if we are only friends, that means no cuddling, no kissing, no affection at all! But we do have sex, only when I need it. I feel kind of dumb because I will spend the night at his house, we'll have sex, go to bed, wake up and he will act like he doesn't even like me. Almost like he is trying to get rid of me all of a sudden. I need help with this because I do love him, but I can't continue feeling like this!
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female
reader, womanlyglory +, writes (9 August 2005):
Either he has lost interest or he's depressed about some other things going on in his life. Like he may not be happy with where he's at in life. But it doesn't sound like he has plans for commitment. Maybe you should have a little talk with him and find out where you stand. He may just need a friend right now. You'd be surprised to know that alot of men desire more qualities in a woman than just sex. He might have some things he'd like to talk to someone about and may just plain and simple need a friend to listen. Try backing off alittle and being his friend to show him your concern for his needs too.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2005): Why on earth are you going there, just for sex? Where's youre pride, girl? It's obvious he doesn't care. If he's ignoring you after sex, then he doesn't have the same feelings of love for you. Respect yourself and your body-do not sleep with this man, anymore. Drop him and go find someone you can share a loving, respectful relationship with. I'd usually say to have a talk with him but don't even bother trying to discuss it with him, because it's clear he has no respect for your feelings. Get your self-respect back and get rid of this man! Go with your "gut instincts" and if you think he's likely "using you" also for sex, then you're probably right. You really deserve better and don't ever do this again!
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reader, becky05 +, writes (9 August 2005):
Youre not dating, youre having sex.
This mans lack of affections towards you should tell you that he doesnt want you to be his girlfriend.
As for the sex, you say that its only when you 'need it'? Hes probably just taking advantage of a free ride.
Have some self respect and move on.
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