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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: right you wont belive the mess im in, bassically im 19 years old, jus come out of a pretty destructive relationship, ive known this girl for 4 years, we dated when we were younger although it wasnt very serious, she was besotted with me, but being a young lad, didnt know how to handle girls and got scared so i walked away from it, she then hooked up with a friend of mine, i wasnt bothred at the time, although then realised the mistake i had made, they dated for about 18mnths and he was her first love, he cheated on her and messed her up a little, about 6 weeks after we bumped into each other in town got talking bout old times,bout a week later i get a call asking if i wanted to meet up, thought it would probably be a bad idea but did it anyway, we then dated for about 3mnths, pretty on and off was pretty destructive relationship because of misunderstandings from the first timeround, unfortunelty for me what she doesn't quite know is i lost my virginity to her and she is my first love,so ive gave it up and fell in love on the re-bound,it has completley desroyed me,the worst thing is since the break up ive tried to talk to her bout things as best i can figure out how,said and done some pretty damn stupid things out of confusion and misplaced anger a complete mess of emotions,and weve turned into each others worst enemys because of it, although im still in love with her deeply,she doesnt fully understand this whole thing,has made it abundently clear she does not want to know,has had enough,and it now telling every1 im a phsyco stalker lol, although admitidly bein stupid and naive i have displayed some stalker like traits without realising it,ie completly inocently and coinsodentalaly bumping into each other out and about,then stupidly trying to talk to her bout the situation,we have online discussions that turn into unbelivable arguments, and trying to explain my actions in emails to her,which she now uses against me,its turned into a social nightmare for me,unfortunetly we are both of simalar age in a town where everybody knows everybody,and me being the guy is automatically made out to be THE BAD GUY,although i have been somewhat of a bad boy in my 19 years and it is easy for it to be pinned on me. All i want to do is tell her i love her and that weve known each other for 4 years dated twice and would be nice to be friends, but all she does is take advantage of the situation,call me a lieing nasty asshole out to cause problems,were on 2 completley differnt wave lengths, i dont know what the hell to do,please help!!!
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female
reader, Cyg79  +, writes (27 December 2007):
 You need to give her space. You can't talk to someone not willing to talk to you, to try and do that would just be harassment to some extent. If she has told you to leave her alone then you need too. Sometimes life doesn't allow for things to end clean or be reconciled, that what can make things hard to live with, but you have to learn to live with it or at least reconcile things in your own heart so you can move on. Its not always the things that have been said that hurt but rather the things left unsaid.
I'm sure you would like to be able to be friends but a friendship goes two ways. Enjoy what the relationship was and realize that it ended, and focuses on moving on, you need to let her go. Your not a "bad guy" for caring but now you have to be the "bigger man" and let her move on and let yourself move on as well. But thats just my take on it.
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