A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Me and my ex broke up the beginning of November. We was together close to 7 months. We stopped talking and I truly thought it was over. I was working on moving on. Been a long hard road tho cuz I can honestly say with him it was true love. Im 25 years old and have dated off and on even been married but still NEVER felt this kind of love. When we ended talking it was on bad terms. Alot of drama caused by friends around me so the last words that was text to me was "I hate you" stop texting me. So I did and time slowly dragged by. No matter how hard ive tried I cant get him out of my mind. So many memories I cant squash. Holidays was awful and didn't feel the same. Finally on xmas I decided I was going to text him one last time. In hopes that maybe he could talk civil to me. I wished him a merry Christmas and hoped his life was what he desired. Once I finally told him who I was we actually got to talk and without showing him my weakness I felt my xmas was completed by just hearing his voice and knowing he was ok. One of the things my EX has always been is a lil perv. Not ina bad way but he was VERY sexual which to me was never bad because the sex was ALWAYS amazing. But the main reason it was amazing was cuz we loved each other. Well since we been talking again that subject of (sex) has been brought up alot but I don't want to jump right into again. He made comments in the past when we broke up that we could be friends with benefits. Im not that kinda gurl. I cant do that. Well last night I decided to go over and visit him for the first time in months since being split up. Things felt awkward at first. He sat real close to me.. started to rub my shoulders like he use to and managed to convince me to give him a hug. (I did) He couldn't figure out why I wouldn't kiss him. I wanted to but I knew I was jumpin right back into the vicious cycle of before. But I gave in and the next thing I know were making out and hands are goin in places and Ill tell ya wat it was so hard to push em off finally before it went to far. I have to admit it felt so good to be close to em again. So your probably wondering what my question is? I feel if I sleep wit him that's all it'll be. (Sex) I don't wanna be his (F*** buddy) How do I tell em Im still very much in love and would rather give it another try. Or can I even trust the fact he would be with me cuz he loved me and not for the sex?
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female
reader, rockelle +, writes (27 December 2007):
 I think it is a good idea to be very cautious withthis guy. Talk to him and be clear about what you wnat from him. You have made it very obvious that you want to be more than friends and it is important that you make that very clear for him and get a very clear answer. Either he is willing to try again or he is not. If he is not stop seeing him. Do not convince yourself that you can change his mind, and do not settle for whatever he is willing to give you. You did the right thing by not sleeping with him that would have only made it harder o you if things do not turn out how you want them too. So good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2007): Stand back! Back off while you can. From reading your story it sounds to me as if it will be purely sexual. You are very vunarable at the moment because you are inlove with a person that doesnt want to be with you the way that you want them to be. He has already told you that you could be friends with perks. Therefore he has CLEARLY told you how much commitment he is willing to give to you, (not alot). Dont sleep with him girl! you will only end up feeling worse about yourself. You have managed to move on to where you are now, you may think that you havent done well but you have. If you sleep with him you will take so many steps back and will end up feeling worse and will have to start the hold grieving process again. You say that you were maried but have never felt this love before. Are you sure you know what it means to be inlove and feel love. How long were you seperated from your last relationship before this one? Ask yourself what he would bring to your relationship if you gave it another shot?
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