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female
,
anonymous
writes: I had all this stuff in my head about what my boundaries were and what I would say to my ex when we met up. We broke up a while ago, were sex buddies, and then didn't talk for ages but started flirting online a week ago, then suddenly he had a girlfriend so I had a go at him and we ended up having a massive row. We had tried to arrange meeting up for a catch up for today but I couldn't make it so he just said he'd call me in a week or so. But he called me today and we ended up meeting. The problem is, I still have feelings for him and he knows it (i think) but I don't think he wants a relationship, he just always expects sex. For example, today I planned on telling him how I felt in that I missed him like hell but I don't know what it is that I want from him. Instead, he told me he had broken up with his girlfriend, we flirted and somehow I ended up giving him a blow job in the park, like I used to do with him when I was 15. He said he'd missed me, and that he'd been with quite a few girls in the weeks that we'd not spoken, and none of them had a clue sexually compared to me. This made me smile even though it made it so obvious that he had only called me because he was horny now that he was single, but I was very flattered because before I was with him I had no sexual experience at all, whereas the girls he usually goes for are complete slags. He left it that we should meet again soon for a drink, he had some dvd's he thought I might like to see and wanted to show me some new stuff he'd leant to play on guitar. I'm angry with myself for giving in to him again (i've done it so many times), no matter how many times I tell myself I'm going to make him treat me with respect I always end up giving in to his advances. I enjoy the thought of being his 'best shag' to put it crudely, and I love the excitement of us having casual sex, but even though I don't know what I feel for him I long for a relationship even though I know he wont stay faithful, he's cheated on me and with me before. We're more than friends but less than lovers, I can't keep away from him as somehow we always find a way back to eachother. What do I want!?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2006): You want a counselor for treatment for sexual addiction, as you are a practiced concubine for this man and like the status of that role?
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