A
female
age
,
*ainie
writes:We have been married for 14 years and have 2 girls aged 13 and 16 years. My husband works hard and is a good provider, our problem is the drink, he never used to drink and drive but lately he has taken to having a few pints with mates after a day's work. He says it's only 2 but i know by his bahaviour that this is not true, he says it helps him relax. It's when he takes me out that the problem starts, we always argue! over stupid things, he starts to pick a row over anything and is terribly nasty to me because he has drunk too much; when he has had enough beer he is on to the gin and tonics and he literally pours the drink down his neck, it's got to a point where i can stand no more and have threatened to leave, he is not a nice person in drink he swears the worst words in front of me and talks down to me ...please help
View related questions:
drunk Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, stuck here  +, writes (9 November 2007):
I was in your same situation 2 years ago- and you know what. I picked up my 4 kids, my last was only 8 months old and I left. No more threatening. Follow through. It worked for me. He quit drinking. And it was bad, we lost everything to his drinking. Our house, car, bank acct. You name it. If you are religious, pray that the holy spirit will help you and more so, him. Hang in there. And remember, no more threats, just do it. It will show that you are serious and mean business. Don't go back until he promises to go to AA and you go with him to make sure he goes and to support him. Keep going. It works. Trust me.
A
female
reader, sexi  +, writes (9 November 2007):
 Hi
My dad would never admit that he has a drinking problem too. My dad is just like your hubby. If they have a couple of drinks then they would be ok but if we go out and my dad start to drink (even if he agrees at home that he would have only a couple of drinks) he cant control it and cant stop. There have been times when i (i am 19 and a female) had to take my dad to the toilet b/c he couldnt stand thats how drunk he gets. We have a fastinf perios of 2 weeks in Septemeber and on Thursdays we fast and my dad would never touch alcohol during that time He can even go with someone to a pub but he would never drink on a Thursday. Its really hard b/c from the time i can remeber my dad has been like this. Sometime when my dad over does it, he cant even drive his car home other people have to bring him home. It is so embarassing. All that we can do is offer them help but if they dont want to accept it there isnt much we can do.
Regards.Be strong for your kids.Take Care
...............................
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (8 November 2007):
 Hi
I wouldnt be happy if my guy was at the pub after work everynight. My ex started doing that, but he drank every night anyway, even at home, still does. But i made it clear to him i dont want a guy that has to go to the pub after work every day. Ive never been with someone like that and dont want to in the future.
We are only mates now and thats good, but he still refuses to see he has a problem with drink but its not my problem anymore thank god.
Your guy isnt a happy bunny at the moment thats for sure, and unless he admits that, you're on a hiding to nothing im afraid.
Good luck.
C xxxxx
...............................
A
female
reader, lainie +, writes (8 November 2007):
lainie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much, it's nice to know I am not alone, my husband does not believe he has a problem with drink, he is self employed and works very hard, the drink he says helps to chill after a stressful day, when it is a couple and no more he is fine,its when we go out then he can't stop. I have known him drink from 10am until 2am the following day on a rugby trip, golf whatever, but when with me it's awful i dread the evening as it progresses, as you say Mandy drink changes the nicest people, he is a kind and generous dad, with me we have grown apart because i feel second best to drink and mates. He works hard and then comes home is in bed before 9pm most nights up early, then if a friend says golf off he goes and afterwards the booze flows until early hours...when rarely we go out together we argue, that doesn't happen with mates. He calls himself a mans man...a drinking mans man..if a man don't drink he simply won't get on with him Why! with me he no conversation and if i try to drink to get on same level as him i get tired and want come home I think midnight is a reasonable time but then i am in wrong for being boring..I am rambling sorry, and thanks againxx
...............................
A
female
reader, sexi +, writes (8 November 2007):
Hi
Alcohol is one of the worst things on this planet. My dad doesnt drink from a Monday to a Thursday but the does on the weekend. When he does have alcohol (within a certain amount) then he is ok but if he goes overboard then we have a problem. He isnt abusive at all but he can be a bit vulgar and it is quite embarassing in the presence of my bf. You can go to the court and get a court interdict. This is a piece of paper which you would have to report incidents of when your hubby if drunk and you sign it. You would take one copy and they would send a copy to your hubby. If your hubby consumes alcohol, then you call the police and show them the interdict, they would immediately take your hubby to rehad and they would explain the situation to his employer. If you dont wanna stay with him then you should just seperate from him as you shouldnt be unhappy in the marriage.
Regards,mail me if you wanna talk
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2007): Hi Hunny,
Drink can change the nicest of people into the nasty person you are talking about, Talk with him about seeking help if he was having a social drink ok, But this sounds as if its got out of control and the drink has taken him over.
Any problems other than that, That may have started this behaviour off, I was with a man who drank and got very violent I had no choice but to seek divorce as he wouldnt get help and life was horrible to say the least.
Ask him to go for counselling for his temper and as to why when he drinks he takes it out on you as you cant stay in this kind of situation as it is soul destroying love.
You can also get help for you by going to al-non its help for family who are having this kind of problem, I hope this helps above all get the help for you if he wont go please take care if you need to chat message me anytime ok take care love mandy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
...............................
|
