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female
,
anonymous
writes: I am deeply in love with a younger woman, and we're trying our best at a long distance thing. We were sort of friends and then one day things got a bit intimate( ph sex) so I took it to mean she wanted more which I did too. So upon discussing it we decided we wanted to try a relationship. We were intimate a couple of times after( same way or online) but then she wanted to stop that, it made her uncomfortable. I respect that it is a little uncomfortable having phone sex for some people and especially as we are both RT virgins. Things are pretty great I feel. She doesn't even want to consider a commitment till we've met which I kind of get too. We've exchanged photos and talk every day. The big thing I have a problem with is that she isnt shy about discussing sex with her friends etc,watches and enjoys porn and even masturbation. But it's like all somehow off limits between us. She gets upset with me when I bring it up, so I'm afraid I'll never get what the hell is the matter. The last few days she's been acting a bit distant and doesn't seem to want to talk with me as much and I know she's got lots on her plate with work and her family etc, but I can't shake the feeling that it's something to do with me. What do I do, I love her deeply and don't want to mess things up.
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female
reader, Drlove +, writes (7 July 2005):
hey you haven't said whether you were male or female, it matters not to me although as what other answers are saying it may. Now as for giving you a really great answer to this it's tough my friend. It does sound as if you've never met in fact I think you did say she doesnt want to commit until you do so ok. Anyway it's hard to advise on this as I don't know either of you personally nor do I know very much about this. Perhaps your lady wants just to take things slow, maybe in the beginning it was just fun but now perhaps you have found you truly care for one another and she wants to slow down?Just a guess on my end but I wouldn't automatically assume there is someone else. I am not assuming you pressure her, but if that is the case, then don't you sound from what I can tell pretty sensitive and you say you love her. Taking all this at face value then I say, take things slow, whatever is meant to be will, and as for being distant as of late, gently w/o pressure try talking to her to see if there is a problem perhaps you can help or be a proverbial shoulder to lean on. Don't count yourself out. Remember the key to any relationship is honest and open communication. Best of Luck to you and your lady :)
A
reader, becky05 +, writes (7 July 2005):
Maybe all she ever wanted was to have a long distance fling and some phone sex and never expected it to turn into anything more?She may feel scared at the thought of meeting you after revealing so much about herself.talk to her and offer reassurance, but dont push her.
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A
reader, NordicBeauty +, writes (7 July 2005):
Long distance relationships are difficult to maintain even if the couple has physically been together for years.
It sounds as if you have not even met this lady & if that is the case, it's even a bigger obstacle for maintaining a long distance romance.
Women are emotional...men are visual...that's a fact.
Women need emotional bonding & mental caressing in order to feel close & intimate with a man.
I would suggest to put a muzzle on the phone sex until you have a chance to meet her.
Talk to her about her LIFE...show her you care about her feelings & she won't feel like you are calling her just to "get your rocks off."
My guess is, she either feels guilty about what you are doing....feels pressured by your constant attempts at phone sex....
OR....she has met someone else.
Since she is acting distant & using family & work as an excuse for having lots on her plate...sometimes that is a person's way of saying, "I'm not into you anymore."
All the best,
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