A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of just under a year(whom I love more than I have ever loved anyone before)and I had a big arguement last night because he feels we don't make love enough. It is usually about twice a week, mostly at weekends. He works late nights weds-sat whereas I work 9-5 mon-fri so I don't think this helps as even though we live together quality time is difficult as one of us is usually shattered (me at night him in the morning). We are a very romantic loving couple normally with lots of kisses and cuddles and are planning to marry as soon as we can afford it but when he says we don't make love enough it makes me feel like I am not good enough for him and he wants someone better. He says he just wants to be as close as possible to me and making love is the closest two people can get but I get that closeness from cuddles and don't want sex as often. Any advice? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (21 February 2008):
 Don't think negatively when he says he feels you and him don't make love enough, take it as a wonderful compliment! He's not saying it to you to make you feel you're not good enough for him, he's saying it BECAUSE he loves you to bits and he loves to be close to you and making love is one of the best ways to show you how he feels. Turn it around to be a very positive compliment!
Okay, so what can you do? When you get in from work is he still in bed? If so, waken him up and put a big smile on his face! Gently stroke his body while whispering "this is your morning wake up call." He might think it is an incredible dream until he wakes up and realises it is even better – it is for real. If he's sitting watching TV then be spontaneous and start to seduce him. Wear some really sexy underwear, stockings, suspenders etc underneath a coat, walk in, stand in front of the TV and let it drop in front of him, I bet that stops him watching his TV programme!! You don't always have to 'do it' in the bedroom. Surprise him! "Take him" when he least expects it. It will spice up your love life and add a new dimension to it.
Leave little notes for him too... ("missing you already") in his bag, ("I think of you and I find myself smiling") in his pocket, ("I can't wait to make love to you again") under his pillow, even in his shoes! Leave him some love coupons (see link below)
http://www.romantics.net/lovecoupons/index.html
Because you both work different hours it can be difficult to get together but not impossible. If you just try to make that extra effort (even if you're tired, that will soon leave you once things hot up) then I'm sure you'll enjoy it just as much! Good luck and have fun!
~Eve~
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