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male
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anonymous
writes: We got married a few days and my wife dosent enjoy sex. She says she dosent feel anything during sex and it is painful. We had sex 3 times now. Is this normal for woman for first few days or how can we overcome this. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Angel ron +, writes (2 May 2006):
 I some how do not hink what you are saying is true loads of people enjoy sex it is the most natural thing . May be she does not feel ready to havbe sex ususally when women aren't ready they do not lubricate natura;;y which means that when they have sex it is painful. try and be patient with her. if neccesary ask her to see her gp. if the problem goes away and may be suggest couseilling. it might also be that she is suffering form anxiety or depression. or mait may be health related either way advice your wife to get medical help or counseilling.
A
female
reader, Danielle934 +, writes (2 May 2006):
 Is it painful for her or does she not feel anything, I don't understand how it could be both? Since you have only had sex 3 times, her body needs to get used to your penis. You need to take things REALLY slow and use lots of foreplay to loosen her up, as well as a lot of lube. It took me having sex with my husband around 7 times before the pain was completely gone. To help get to the bottom of this you need to ask her where exactly does it hurt (more towards her opening, or further inside)? If she feels the pain further inside then try not going in as far as you have been; if she feels it towards her opening then you need to give her more foreplay, and make sure she is really aroused and wet before you try penetrating again. How does it feel for her when you stimulate her clitoris, have you tried that yet? Some woman feel more stimulated on the outside than on the inside. Like Jadzia1127 wrote, there are a lot of books out there to help you learn how to please your woman right, and every woman IS different. You need to fully explore her body and learn her turn ons before you ever penetrate her!
Godd Luck
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A
female
reader, princessdizzy +, writes (2 May 2006):
if she's only had sex 3 (thats not clear in your message) times ever then its perfectly normal, she'l find it hard to relax and it is painful as your body gets used to it. the best thing you can do is lots of foreplay so that she's really lubricated an take things slow with her. when its no longer painful she will begin to notice nicer feelings but not everyone can orgasm as soon as they start havin sex.good luck
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A
female
reader, Jadzia1127  +, writes (2 May 2006):
 If her favorite thing about sex is cuddling after, you're doing it wrong. You need to educate yourself. Get a book read up on women's anatomy, and how to pleasure a woman. Porn will not help you here, you need a real book with real help. Women are a lot more complex then men when it comes to sex. You also will need to get those lines of communication open so she can help guide you while you learn.
Women enjoy sex if they have a good lover! Good Luck on your educational journey.
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A
female
reader, philly +, writes (2 May 2006):
IT seems to me that this may be a medical problem. Ask your wife if she wants to go and see a doctor. Be patient and understanding as she goes through this difficult time. I am sure she wants to please you but if it is causing her pain ,she needs to seek medical advice.
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